so far at this university, i've been in situations where asian students outnumber others or there is at least some diversity (random trips in the elevator, sitting at the dining hall table, at UT, in classes, etc etc) but today in my shakespeare class, i realized i was the ONLY asian face there (and it's a pretty big class).

it felt kind of weird.

i just made my first meal for myself in my new apartment (well, not mine, since i'm just subleting a room for a few months). i made a roast chicken for dinner and flatmate was not around so i ate by myself. i felt rather lonely and sad because roast chicken dinners are such a Friends And Family At The Round Table dish.

+ posted by M @ 9:23 AM

...	Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Gone, she's gone
How do you feel about it
That's what I thought
You're real torn up about it
And I wish you the best
But I could do without it
And I will, because you've worn me down
Oh, I will, because you've worn me down

Worn me down like a road
I did everything you told
Worn me down to my knees
I did everything to please
But you can't stop thinking about her
No, you can't stop thinking about her

And you're wrong, you're wrong
I'm not overreacting
Something is off
Why don't we ever believe ourselves
And I, oh, I feel that word for you
And I will, because you've worn me down
Oh, I will because you have worn me down

Worn me down like a road
I did everything you told
Worn me down to my knees
I did everything to please
But you can't stop thinking about her
No, you can't stop thinking about her

She's so pretty; she's so damn right
But I'm so tired of thinking
About her tonight

Worn me down like a road
I did everything you told
Worn me down to my knees
I did everything to please
But you can't stop thinking about her
No, you can't stop thinking about her

Worn me down like a road
I did everything you told
Worn me down to my knees
I did everything to please
Worn me down like a road
I did everything you told to me to do
But you, you can't stop thinking about her
No, you can't stop thinking about her
No, you can't stop thinking about her
No, you can't stop thinking about her

rachael and i should be best friends.

+ posted by M @ 10:39 AM

...	Friday, March 16, 2007

HOME! IN .. a day. that kind of kills the whole idea but still ... home. the flight will pass by if i sleep through it.

ohmygod i am so excited and so thrilled to be leaving HYDE PARK.

+ posted by M @ 5:17 AM

...	Thursday, March 15, 2007

why uchicago kids have the best sense of humour:


Our school is the closest you can get to Hogwarts...expecto patronum!

Whose school was the second choice location to film the Harry Potter movies? Who actually lives in "houses" complete with a council, meetings, and our very own house table in the dining hall? Whose school is pretentious enough not refer to each class as freshmen, sophomore, etc., but rather as First, Second, Third, Fourth, and your occasional Fifth year? Whose school requires you to have a level of intelligence incredibly close to magical powers to even survive? That's right, our school, the University of Chicago. And that's why our school is better than your school...Bitch.

lolololol (this would not be half as funny to me were it not finals week, and i would not feel the urge to express myself in lolololols)

+ posted by M @ 12:21 PM

...	Tuesday, March 13, 2007

update:

i decided to take Youth, Gender, Sexuality instead of Pop Culture In/Out Japan. i wish i could take both but they clashed and honestly i relate more to YGS (obviously), i hope it does not disappoint. am rather excited about film course now that i know we'll be looking at Stanley Kwan and chinese theatre as well (chinese theatre!)

yes My Course Schedule Dictates My Life ... as is true for practically the rest of the nerds in my school (and we're all nerds, give or take a few dummies). sigh. i don't know why i do this to myself, i wish i could just drop out of Natsci but the reality of this is, if i don't want to end up killing myself i will have to drop a class ... i guess i could just end up going for the film screenings without actually taking the class.

+ posted by M @ 5:47 AM

...

i am really upset. i missed pre-reg for courses and then i took a long time figuring out what courses i wanted and of COURSE the great courses are filled up. i noticed too late that American Contemporary Drama included a study of some of Kaufman's works. honestly, it would be so awesome if i could just pink slip in ... why does spring have such crappy courses with a smattering of good ones which get filled up the moment they open? i'm keeping my eye on the Virginia Woolf course for next year as well as "Pre-Stonewall: Sexuality and Censorship in Film". must-takes!

and i also missed out on the ENGL Graphic Novel course and they're studying such things as Jimmy Corrigan and Persepolis. i also missed out on the art installation course.

so i'm left with two gender studies courses. Pop Culture In/Out Japan, which sounds fairly interesting from the title itself - that's all i have to work with because there aren't course descriptions of it to be found anywhere. Women in Chinese Film - isn't it just too stereotypical that i'm taking this? i can't hardly wait to see who will be taking it. my adviser said, 'i think you'd like this' and of course she doesn't know much about me at all so i wanted to say to her, 'just because i'm chinese and female doesn't mean i will like this course' but then i thought about it and i was interested in it of course (because really all the americans know about chinese cinema is Wong Kar Wai and Zhang Yi Mou which are arthouse enough to be approved by our pretentious UofC and i was right in assuming so because i later saw it was such in the course listings and OF COURSE i want to take a course with WKW in it), but the assumptions she made of me just because of my gender and ethnicity were rather ... annoying. but if the films turn out to be too chinese martial arts-y for me, i'm dropping it immediately, and i'm almost hoping it will be so that i can be free of a course without feeling like i'm missing out. and finally, Shakespeare Two: Tragedies and Romances, which i am sure i will like. on top of my Natsci course - evolution of the earth (yay! obviously not taking this by choice...).

i think i'm overloading again. but i'm kiasu lah, i want them all - that's the problem though, i think i should just take three and do well in them rather than take four and be stretched out (which is what has happened these past two quarters). and being stretched out is no point because then i cant get enough out of the course that i should be getting. i always think it will be fine so i don't drop anything ... and then finally when it becomes too late to drop a course, i realize i can't take it.

i initially wanted to just take two Visual Art courses in spring and slack off (am considering art school after i graduate, for real ... no, not just considering, right now, that's REALLY what i want to take on after i grad. so i'm definitely either majoring/doing a minor in ARTV, but of course combined with another major ... maybe if everything works out right i'll get a triple major, because all my courses seem to intersect so nicely. you won't believe how many gender, english, film, theater courses are equatable in credit) but because i did not pre-reg, all those courses are filled up. not that art is slack, but i'd much prefer creating something rather than continuing to pick apart things like i have to keep doing now. UGH. i REALLY don't want to have to work very hard at all next quarter. also, i'm going to have further extra-curricular commitments, what with stage managing the miranda july and making an effort to turn up for queers and associates. it's spring, for god's sake.

back to my film paper. i'm doing it on a Godard film ... it's funny how i gravitated towards his film Vivre Sa Vie out of all the others, and upon reading more about him, realize that they call WKW his contemporary disciple. i guess my taste in art is incredibly distinctive, most of the time.

i realize i'm overusing the parantheses. forgive me, it's just about the only OCD thing about me.

+ posted by M @ 4:01 AM

...	Tuesday, March 06, 2007

omg, why can't i do my work? i don't think i've done any work for the past two weeks here frankly. want to go home NOW. want my mushy squishy cuddly chubbo. want my laksa and teh tarik and soursop juice. want my huge room with queensized bed. want to have my laundry done for me. want to hug my fattycake sister.

$%#()(#%)()_$# sigh.

and when i get back, lumpy will be working. anyone want to have dinner at il lido on tuesday night with me until closing time?

not getting any sleep tonight with the 5-6 page paper i have to do by tomorrow.

in other news, i'll be stagemanaging a small project next quarter. quite excited to be going back into the theatre again.

: ( : ( : ( : ( : ( : ( : ( : ( : ( : ( : ( : ( : ( : ( : ( : "( : ( : ( : "( : "( : :"( :"( : ":( : (

home now, now now now now nowww.

+ posted by M @ 10:27 AM

...	Monday, March 05, 2007

the truth is i have written about 5 drafts for a blog post over the past two weeks but i published none. i've been so indecisive lately, and feeling rather lost. but i'll leave you with some things that have moved me lately:



this is a piece by Felix Gonzalez-Torres, Untitled (Perfect Lovers). two clocks placed side by side, ticking in unison. gradually, they become completely out of sync with each other and tick to different times.




another piece by Torres, Untitled (Portrait of Ross). i fell in love with this piece immediately. viewers of this piece are each invited to take a piece of candy such that the piece disappears over time. the weight of the candies are equal to the weight of Ross. Ross was his lover that died of aids.

so this is what has mattered to me lately. his pieces are beautiful and easily reproduced simultaneously in any museum.

+ posted by M @ 9:58 AM