tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55848252011-07-08T17:41:49.359+08:00Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.comBlogger8071100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-48748371167707818982009-11-19T08:08:00.002+08:002009-11-19T08:11:23.998+08:00

it's 6pm here and it is already dark. it feels like it is 9pm. i look out my window and all the tiny squares are lit up windows, like boxes that other people are inhabiting. and for the first time all quarter, i feel so profoundly alone. and i want to tell you i'm so sorry, but i don't know how and i wish i didn't feel this way.tan cerca que tu mano sobre mi pecho es mía,tan cerca que se cierran

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-34848172600345872092009-11-05T01:12:00.002+08:002009-11-05T01:26:45.794+08:00

it never occurs to you how much you need something until it's broken.of course.which is why here i am eating cold spaghetti (a usually wonderful kind of food that has been butchered by american popularization in general). no, i'm not xenophobic, there are some things about american culture i truly don't understand. perhaps specifically american middle class culture. but that's another topic for

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-21991966254417096672009-11-04T11:24:00.003+08:002009-11-04T11:33:16.517+08:00

I'm not sure what it is, about being sixteen or seventeen, and how everything you feel is so intense and beautiful and scary at the same time and how it seems like your world will end or begin with one single gesture.I wish I could feel that way again. Now my life is just theater, and cutting fabric, and talking to actors about how tight their costumes fit, pinning things, sewing things, sitting

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-31910714792920914542009-07-08T11:03:00.002+08:002009-07-08T11:24:22.524+08:00

Chicago in the Summer!Today I spent 5 hours glue-ing torn out pages from books until I eventually accumulated strips amounting to 130 feet. These strips will be joined together tomorrow and muslin will be glued atop of them. And then I will baste aligning pairs of stitches through the muslin and gather them to make ruffles. These individual paper ruffles will then be arranged into tiers on a

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-30894343091120319392009-03-30T06:34:00.003+08:002009-03-30T07:14:01.994+08:00

I don't know if I've ever been so excited for Spring. I've always thought of myself as a Fall person.And I still very much am, I just think I really needed the quarter to come to an end, and the promise of possibilities with a new one. I learned a lot about myself last quarter. I learned that I could master the sewing machine and enjoy it, I learned that I was capable of more things than I gave

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-77064193098310216752009-03-19T04:26:00.002+08:002009-03-19T04:38:05.272+08:00

I used to be smart.And then I became a Theater and Performance Studies major, and now it's all 'omg 9 hours a week in the costume shop, making a silk vest!' and 'look, i can hang a light! and no, gel is not what you put in your hair!' and 'yeah, i know what someone means when they say they want to stage something in the round or on a short thrust!'On the other hand it also means that I have

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-15433142820107910532009-02-12T05:58:00.002+08:002009-02-12T06:02:02.904+08:00

A fence, at its simplest, is a line. It is the definition of desire. On one side, there is what we want; on the other side, what we don't. What belongs, what does not belong; accepted, unacceptable. Of course, more than a line, a fence is also a barrier. It not only designates, it separates. It ensures no mixing, no mingling, no internecine traffic. A fence is not unlike an ocean: over here, the

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-25203412739826177782009-02-06T14:47:00.002+08:002009-02-06T14:50:27.004+08:00

Simply knowing you exist ain't good enough for meBut asking for your telephone numberSeems highly inappropriateSeeing as I can'teven say hiwhen you walk byAnd that time you shook my hand it felt so niceI swear I've never felt this way about any other guyand I never usually notice people's eyes but..I conducted a planTo bump into you most accidentallybut I was walking alongand I bumped into

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-85574627898121023092009-02-03T00:19:00.002+08:002009-02-03T00:33:48.926+08:00

so right now i'm reading about lesbian musicians and waiting to make myself a cup of tea.and i'm thinking about something chelsea shared with me yesterday. for those of you who have not been updated about my life (and there are many, since i hardly blog now), i'm assisting a professional costume designer this quarter. she is immensely talented, and i've got this whole slightly creepy '

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-79140885630711079922009-02-01T09:50:00.003+08:002009-02-01T09:51:57.960+08:00

winter in chicagoe: i'm glad i didn't go to school in california. or else i would be outside playing frisbee right now. and that's not what life is. no, life is not four years of vacation.m: i've been thinking about LA a lot these few weeks.e: yeah, me too. those bitches.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-45434041577723814092009-01-02T03:48:00.002+08:002009-01-02T04:00:41.016+08:00

it's been a year, i can't really get to sleep. every year i promise myself the same things. but back in the familiar toil of Singapore, it's hard to remember what i'm in Chicago for.when i was first in chicago, trying so hard to make it on my own, to find my nook - i told myself, 'be selfish. you've got to be more selfish, or you'll never survive.' and now that i'm finally feeling stable on my

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-77253241666068373982008-12-25T23:42:00.004+08:002008-12-25T23:50:36.711+08:00

"The speech we hear is an indication of that which we don't hear. It is a necessary avoidance, a violent, sly, and anguished or mocking smoke screen which keeps the other in its true place. When true silence falls we are left with echo but are nearer nakedness. One way of looking at speech is to say that it is a constant stratagem to cover nakedness."RIP Harold Pinter. You changed the way I

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-74355422227421634862008-11-21T12:54:00.000+08:002008-11-21T12:55:04.347+08:00

theatre theatre theatre til i die

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-64962534380971903602008-11-11T12:09:00.001+08:002008-11-11T12:10:22.669+08:00

because all of my brain capacity is being used by my history and theory of drama paper, i will post song lyrics.I took my love, I took it downClimbed a mountain and I turned aroundI saw my reflection in the snow covered hillstill the landslide brought me downOh, mirror in the skyWhat is loveCan the child within my heart rise aboveCan I sail thru the changing ocean tidesCan I handle the seasons of

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-38768480142940888672008-11-09T09:34:00.002+08:002008-11-09T09:42:27.037+08:00

the truth is, i miss you too.Underwater, it's like the song you hear on the radio at night Like sleepin' with the light out Like the wooden sound of your mama's sad bassoon Noah, someday we'll talk again but there's things we never say That sorrow deep inside you, it's inside me too and it never goes away, you be okayyou learn how to lose things, my sorrow go where my heart grow calmwhen you stop

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-55653213796603824252008-11-05T13:28:00.002+08:002008-11-05T13:34:49.344+08:00

where was I, election night 2008, when Obama won?in my apartment a few blocks away from where he lives.hell yeah, bitchezon a more serious note, i'm very happy with this result. it doesn't affect me as much as the americans with tears in their eyes, but i think it's a pretty foregone conclusion that the american presidential election affects us all. i'm just proud to be in the midst of all this

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-52470607216438585292008-11-03T09:58:00.001+08:002008-11-03T10:01:00.047+08:00

little things, lilly allenSometimes I find myself sitting back and reminiscingEspecially when I have to watch other people kissingAnd I remember when you started calling me your MrsAll the play fightingAll the flirtatious dissesI'd tell you sad stories about my childhoodI dunno why I trusted you but I knew that I couldWe'd spend the whole weekend Lying in our own dirtI was just so happyIn your

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-31818701823434234182008-10-21T04:56:00.002+08:002008-10-21T05:19:28.055+08:00

there is nothing beautiful about heartbreak, though some people are so poetic about it. i've spent the little bit of my waking day reading. each new window says something different - carol writes about the ecstasy of falling in love, dawn writes about the necessity of moving, a new friend's writes about the pain of loss, you call me back to you. today i woke up to fog outside my window and a

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-85899343868034782572008-07-09T00:49:00.002+08:002008-07-10T01:13:31.836+08:00

Recent years have seen a rise in Singapore film. Having just recently returned on summer holiday after two years in Chicago, the array of film events and screenings that take place every weekend are shocking. Gone are the days when people associated Eric Khoo with the Goodwood Park Hotel and knew nothing of his true occupation. I will not pretend to write knowledgeably about Boo Junfeng or Brian

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-87666214196533156132008-07-05T01:48:00.002+08:002008-07-05T01:51:57.867+08:00

she and other people like her need to disappear.then singapore might be a better place. and that's just the tip of the iceberg.i'm not sorry for sounding bitter. i'm not exactly happy to be home. don't get me wrong - it's not a personal thing, it's a SINGAPORE thing. i wish i could just transplant all my loved ones and i to somewhere else.and i thought i was done with that whole teenage angst

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-49434009127425957592008-07-03T18:21:00.001+08:002008-07-03T18:25:13.492+08:00

general - dispatchthere was a decorated general witha heart of gold, that likened him toall the stories he toldof past battles, won and lost, andlegends of old a seasoned veteran inhis own timeon the battlefield, he gainedrespectful fame with many medalsof bravery and stripes to his namehe grew a beard as soon as he couldto cover the scars on his faceand always urged his men onbut on the eve of a

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-4779589214363386832008-06-21T18:38:00.002+08:002008-06-21T18:41:49.118+08:00

i'm really upset.my rabbit is now in the animal hospital because the vet suspects he has enteritis, which is a fatal disease. basically over the next 48 hours they're going to be caring for him and trying to get him to eat something. it really upsets me to see him so subdued from his former self and not eating at all. he used to be so chubby and cute and happy to eat, but now he's losing weight

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-6885755940300606452008-06-19T05:37:00.003+08:002008-06-19T06:15:51.586+08:00

i think i'm addicted to theatre, and being in the theatre. it's been barely a few days of sitting around doing nothing, trying to get over my jetlag, and i just feel extremely restless. it was easier to ignore my withdrawal symptoms last week because of the stress of finals. but now that i'm idling about, i'm not even interested in going out, i just want to start work. and who knows what work is

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-54476695342674123022008-06-17T15:08:00.002+08:002008-06-17T15:26:10.792+08:00

Being home makes me realize that I'm somehow in a completely different stage of my life right now. So much that used to matter seems really inconsequential. Old friends and certain people I used to like a lot (person, I guess) have seemed more interested in making contact than I have and somehow it just doesn't even matter. I don't even know if I care to ever see them again, and if we'd really

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-28955357444344597582008-06-17T04:03:00.003+08:002008-06-17T04:38:04.300+08:00

I was reminded today how wonderful a good book can be. Reading a good novel is like slipping into your most broken-in, comfortable pair of jeans, or having coffee with an old friend. I picked up Prep (by Curtis Sittenfeld) at O'Hare. I was looking for something light and breezy to read on my 20-hour journey. The title attracted me, obviously - while I dislike chicklit for the most part, I admit

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-63918785998972952762008-06-09T17:06:00.002+08:002008-06-09T17:11:26.727+08:00

a very talented friend of mine performed a bunch of stephen sondheim songs on friday. before he sang this, he claimed it was his theme song and then proceeded to sing it just like it really was. i kind of fell in love with it.The sun comes up,I think about you.The coffee cup,I think about you.I want you so,It's like I'm losing my mind.The morning ends,I think about you.I talk to friends,I think

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-25397892269819832982008-03-04T14:26:00.002+08:002008-03-04T14:28:36.531+08:00

after you leave a space empty for awhile, people forget about it. in the same way, i'm pretty sure no one reads this blog any longer.i suppose i haven't been good at keeping in touch. the fact is so many thoughts are kept secret now, from so many people. i'm not really sure what i'm doing or where i'm going. i will start writing here again, and keeping in touch again. give me time.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-82146393313807593592007-09-03T14:52:00.001+08:002007-09-03T14:53:44.357+08:00

i've decided to shift to livejournal. i don't know if i can write here anymore. i probably will pop by, once in a while, but for now i'm not sure. most of my friends have an lj now, so it makes it easier.strangelyhuman.livejournal.com same name, different place.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-27916001957284746532007-09-02T23:59:00.000+08:002007-09-03T00:00:12.057+08:00

I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrongAnd falling down on your knees asking for sympathyAnd being caught in between all you wish for and all you seenAnd trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe inMay God's love be with youAlwaysMay God's love be with youI know i would apologize if i could see your eyes'Cause when you showed me myself i became someone elseBut i was

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-22810668895801056422007-08-29T16:34:00.000+08:002007-08-29T16:37:01.777+08:00

i was looking through the members of the SCGS group on facebook and Janice Koh's profile caught my eye. Janice Koh, an scgs girl?! to confirm my suspicions i looked through her list of friends and she had pam oei and lim yu beng listed. so definitely the actress, who knew she was from scgs ... ed, elsa, did you know? heh.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-55018058506982451082007-08-24T12:24:00.000+08:002007-08-24T12:26:20.091+08:00

i was kind of excited for this movie (tony leung...), but now just kind of annoyed because the poster is a complete rip-off of ITMFL, and the girl doesn't look half as beautiful as maggie cheung.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-24102021155984189762007-08-23T19:59:00.000+08:002007-08-23T20:02:49.104+08:00

photos, as promised, are on facebook (because it's a lot less fiddly).

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-74103075160573064872007-08-23T02:02:00.001+08:002007-08-23T02:22:37.827+08:00

today we celebrated being together for a year. i went over and we made breakfast - buttermilk pancakes, hashed browns and sausages (a slightly healthier and less processed version of the macdonalds breakfast we used to eat together before i left). and then we sat around and went out to purvis street so i could get some drawing done. had a nice chat with her while drawing and apparently the

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-60596827418152711082007-08-15T06:42:00.000+08:002007-08-15T06:46:10.210+08:00

i never really thought that i would be going through this whole application process thing again. typing out personal statements, getting letters of recommendation, compiling the results. and i still don't know where i'm going. whether to give up a more all-rounded liberal arts education (though tediously dragged down by compulsory core science classes) for an intensely concentrated

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-72310595751988380862007-08-10T01:22:00.000+08:002007-08-10T01:27:03.137+08:00

The RiverI come from down in the valleywhere mister when you're youngThey bring you up to do like your daddy doneMe and Mary we met in high schoolwhen she was just seventeenWe'd ride out of that valley down to where the fields were greenWe'd go down to the riverAnd into the river we'd diveOh down to the river we'd rideThen I got Mary pregnantand man that was all she wroteAnd for my nineteenth

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-2061480487849371112007-08-04T15:06:00.000+08:002007-08-04T15:22:17.901+08:00

i need to find a new haunt for my much-loved kaya toast. killiney and yakun just don't seem to cut it anymore. i used to be decidedly partial to yakun, but now they're both pretty interchangeable to me. i remember the day when i visited yakun's very first franchise at far east square with my family. back then the bread was still served piping hot and very crispy. that was probably the day i

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-38840374192106654232007-08-01T00:43:00.000+08:002007-08-01T00:54:42.938+08:00

i think that on the inside, i'm malay. i love padang food with a passion. i am in love with teh tarik. not teh si, not teh - teh tarik. but then it can be argued that teh tarik is more of a fusion type of thing, rather than purely malay. i find 'mats' endearing instead of 'aimless', and happen to think most malay girls dress themselves with a certain flair and savvy fashion sense the average

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-67472381231544647292007-07-31T02:55:00.001+08:002007-07-31T03:07:49.803+08:00

sorry to worry my dear friends with the excruciatingly angsty previous post. to cut a long story short, my parents found out about a very personal relationship i've been trying to keep under wraps and things were pretty bad. but they've settled down now, and i hope we can all continue to move on.i am not gay, and maybe that's the most confusing thing about this. because it isn't as simple as

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-25542519869266862592007-07-20T05:09:00.000+08:002007-07-20T05:35:32.833+08:00

truth. i used to think you could just feel it in your bones. that you would know immediately what to do, where to go, who to be because it was true and it was the only way. these past months i've found that everything i thought was true has been torn apart. and the one thing that i held close throughout that time was dismantled and picked at right in front of my eyes earlier today.in the world

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-50590477741934801852007-07-17T23:34:00.000+08:002007-07-17T23:35:17.253+08:00

starting over again, from the incredible trainwreck my life has become over the past year. but i know it will be okay and i will be okay. God will make it okay.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-31993093157612506682007-07-09T05:27:00.001+08:002007-07-09T05:27:51.687+08:00

my brother. http://youtube.com/watch?v=IBntqJY78T0hahaha.on another note, my friends dvd got stuck in my powerbook. very annoying.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-91328104114123801282007-07-07T17:41:00.000+08:002007-07-07T17:58:30.985+08:00

more than one person has asked me lately, 'are you sure you really want to go away?'out of concern, i guess. these are the people who know me more intimately. when i say, 'yes, it's really something i have to do', no one is really convinced. they try to talk me out of it, citing tons of reasons.i have thought carefully about it. the loneliness, the homesickness, etc. i'm not in denial here. i

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-65635303728474877112007-07-03T18:39:00.000+08:002007-07-03T18:48:54.951+08:00

"so what did you think of transformers? everyone's been waxing lyrical.""i fell asleep."i met up with an old friend from njc yesterday, and we're planning to make a film. extremely extremely low budget. primarily it's a love story (between a performance artist and a graphic designer), but you know how films are always so much more than the series of events in it (or at least the good films are).

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-90162266773498869142007-07-02T14:06:00.000+08:002007-07-02T14:28:57.727+08:00

I'm sorry I have not been updating, so now I am. Mainly for Carol's benefit I will talk about the two local shows I've been to since I got back. I saw Wong Kar Wai Dreams and Bulan Madu. Wong Kar Wai Dreams was of the big, splashy variety, held in the national drama centre and all that. I usually am a little biased towards plays watched in the theatre studio or little spaces such as the

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-91729079605326748342007-06-30T13:01:00.000+08:002007-06-30T13:02:15.900+08:00

art school?

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-2575156298486018472007-06-06T18:58:00.000+08:002007-06-06T19:09:10.435+08:00

i really hate singaporeans. the sad thing is, the word 'singaporean' to me has a very negative connotation to it. maybe it's because of all the 'kiasu' and calculating and stingy characteristics typical singaporeans have but sometimes that citizenship is almost something that feels a little .. shameful. i'm proud to talk about singapore and the food and art and places on our island, but i rarely

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-185521125629314032007-06-05T10:56:00.000+08:002007-06-05T11:07:43.424+08:00

So I'm finally back in Singapore and I'm glad to be home. Though I'm reminded of a conversation I overheard some time on Chicago campus. I was waiting for a bus and two men (both historians, apparently - I'm guessing they were working either on PhD dissertations or were already PhDs because they were of a certain age) were talking about their experiences in different countries. The Taiwanese

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-46228306272071149932007-05-17T07:02:00.000+08:002007-05-17T07:03:01.349+08:00

i don't want to go for rehearsal.whine, whine, whine.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-87689008877209119062007-05-05T18:33:00.000+08:002007-05-05T18:37:18.963+08:00

i've been watching season 1 grey's and i'm really sad about the putrid mess we have to watch now in s3. s1 izzie and george (SEPARATELY, mind you) ... how i miss them. total devolution.i think things all went downhill after george slept with meredith and callie cut his hair. gah!!

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-69031741410949594372007-05-01T19:49:00.000+08:002007-05-01T20:04:44.011+08:00

the thing about the theater kids i've encountered here is that they're either heavily into improv or musical theater. america seems to have a VERY STRONG musical theater culture ... which i did not realize until i came here.and honestly, while i will stomach some classics like Les Mis and Rent (i don't even like Phantom much) and of course Moulin Rouge (but that's film) - everytime someone learns

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-62846092691450819512007-04-21T06:21:00.000+08:002007-04-21T06:22:32.093+08:00

i really need to stop skipping class and start handing in things on time, and start being normal.repeat to self X 234098098209 everyday, inside head.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-72546113255306492502007-04-20T18:35:00.000+08:002007-04-20T19:03:20.841+08:00

in spate of the recent payrise, i think it's just MM Lee's way of seeing his family is set for good before he dies (and the time is a-coming, i mean, the man looks like a corpse). kind of like his will, you know? instead as MM he's got all the taxpayer's money as his disposal, so why not put it into his family. his statement about our women becoming maids is a clear sign of his senility/dementia.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-9608662267110831082007-04-20T14:21:00.000+08:002007-04-20T14:22:31.750+08:00

bunny bunny bunny bunny bunnyyyy!!! so lovey and cuddly and squishy. why go to war when we can all have little bunny friends of our own.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-76621370541470661452007-04-20T13:04:00.000+08:002007-04-20T13:45:08.498+08:00

america : the land of moral decay?the VA Tech shootings come as a chilling reminder of where i've currently chosen to reside. reading his manifesto, he claims 'i died like Jesus Christ' so that others like him have been taken care of. which is of course an extremely poor analogy considering he didn't die for the sins of anyone and took down 32 others with him. the killings simply reek of

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1069513195637509972007-04-19T16:57:00.000+08:002007-04-19T17:25:45.031+08:00

live, that's all you can do.something i read off a friend's facebook profile, as trivial as it seems. but i guess she really is living right now, taken a quarter off to go to portland to live with her girlfriend (who also took a quarter off) and now they're in an apartment just doing jobs and getting by - but most importantly just being. portland isn't terribly exciting, but i can understand how

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-19470564003763108552007-04-10T14:33:00.000+08:002007-04-10T14:34:09.165+08:00

i'm kind of tired with theater. yes, i've started spelling it theater and not theatre. unbelievable.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-24645095971501330582007-04-05T17:09:00.000+08:002007-04-05T17:11:31.720+08:00

i am okay. i am sorry if i worried anyone with the Angsty Lyrics Posts. i was simply too tired to write about what happened and my similarly angsty feelings so i used rachael to help me out. whatever it was, i'm fine now.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-23375350791155208472007-04-03T20:56:00.000+08:002007-04-03T20:57:11.794+08:00

I think about how it might have beenWe'd spend out days travelin'It's not that I don't understand youIt's not that I don't want to be with youBut you only wanted meThe way you wanted meSo, I will head out alone, hope for the bestAnd we hang our heads downAs we skip the goodbyesAnd you can tell the world what you want them to hearI've got nothing left to lose, my dearSo, I'm up for the little

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-56715512938644704152007-03-30T09:23:00.000+08:002007-03-30T09:31:23.625+08:00

so far at this university, i've been in situations where asian students outnumber others or there is at least some diversity (random trips in the elevator, sitting at the dining hall table, at UT, in classes, etc etc) but today in my shakespeare class, i realized i was the ONLY asian face there (and it's a pretty big class).it felt kind of weird.i just made my first meal for myself in my new

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-5122118988057087982007-03-20T10:39:00.000+08:002007-03-20T10:46:02.071+08:00

Gone, she's goneHow do you feel about itThat's what I thoughtYou're real torn up about itAnd I wish you the bestBut I could do without itAnd I will, because you've worn me downOh, I will, because you've worn me downWorn me down like a roadI did everything you toldWorn me down to my kneesI did everything to pleaseBut you can't stop thinking about herNo, you can't stop thinking about herAnd you're

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-87282195818580302562007-03-16T05:17:00.000+08:002007-03-16T05:18:58.398+08:00

HOME! IN .. a day. that kind of kills the whole idea but still ... home. the flight will pass by if i sleep through it. ohmygod i am so excited and so thrilled to be leaving HYDE PARK.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-20745820970777354612007-03-15T12:21:00.000+08:002007-03-15T12:23:23.649+08:00

why uchicago kids have the best sense of humour: Our school is the closest you can get to Hogwarts...expecto patronum!Whose school was the second choice location to film the Harry Potter movies? Who actually lives in "houses" complete with a council, meetings, and our very own house table in the dining hall? Whose school is pretentious enough not refer to each class as freshmen, sophomore, etc.,

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-44417002633368775982007-03-13T05:47:00.000+08:002007-03-13T05:52:22.867+08:00

update:i decided to take Youth, Gender, Sexuality instead of Pop Culture In/Out Japan. i wish i could take both but they clashed and honestly i relate more to YGS (obviously), i hope it does not disappoint. am rather excited about film course now that i know we'll be looking at Stanley Kwan and chinese theatre as well (chinese theatre!)yes My Course Schedule Dictates My Life ... as is true for

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-72850705371403718182007-03-13T04:01:00.000+08:002007-03-13T04:26:42.149+08:00

i am really upset. i missed pre-reg for courses and then i took a long time figuring out what courses i wanted and of COURSE the great courses are filled up. i noticed too late that American Contemporary Drama included a study of some of Kaufman's works. honestly, it would be so awesome if i could just pink slip in ... why does spring have such crappy courses with a smattering of good ones which

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-17389805573135242842007-03-06T10:27:00.000+08:002007-03-06T10:43:52.144+08:00

omg, why can't i do my work? i don't think i've done any work for the past two weeks here frankly. want to go home NOW. want my mushy squishy cuddly chubbo. want my laksa and teh tarik and soursop juice. want my huge room with queensized bed. want to have my laundry done for me. want to hug my fattycake sister. $%#()(#%)()_$# sigh.and when i get back, lumpy will be working. anyone want to have

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-79688964938604123542007-03-05T09:58:00.000+08:002007-03-05T10:12:27.959+08:00

the truth is i have written about 5 drafts for a blog post over the past two weeks but i published none. i've been so indecisive lately, and feeling rather lost. but i'll leave you with some things that have moved me lately:this is a piece by Felix Gonzalez-Torres, Untitled (Perfect Lovers). two clocks placed side by side, ticking in unison. gradually, they become completely out of sync with each

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-67310632043477047752007-02-26T06:41:00.001+08:002007-02-26T06:41:45.664+08:00

same-sex marriage now legalized in illinois - i guess sometimes, midwest is best.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-71879805603871542422007-02-15T05:02:00.000+08:002007-02-15T05:05:03.301+08:00

can someone explain to me why cornell (in ITHACA) gives out holidays because of the snow, and we don't get any even though we're in FREAKING chicago and have been warned that buses might collapse because of the wind?it's been a blizzard these few days.oh, happy valentine's day, i guess.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-91662735424182622022007-02-07T12:44:00.000+08:002007-02-07T13:02:57.433+08:00

so today, while reading through the posts on my university marketplace board (advertising apartments, looking for lost items etc), i came across this post:A few years ago I found a ring on the sidewalk in the U of C campus vicinity. I was a worse person then, and I took the ring. Now I want to give it back. The ring is a plain, platinum band from Tiffany & co. It is almost surely a woman's size.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-57517890772373822322007-02-02T12:18:00.001+08:002007-02-02T12:18:31.136+08:00

as ed would say ...sian ji pua!

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-4097453215020287232007-01-30T13:53:00.000+08:002007-01-30T14:15:08.861+08:00

i am supposed to be writing my essay but i am getting distracted. i guess i really haven't written anything much substantial here for a long time or taken the care to update all of you on the happenings in my life.well, nothing much happens really. i go to class, do work in the dorms, deal with my miscreant of a roommate, eat bad hall food or instant food to survive. things are rather depressing

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-22502356021778314522007-01-19T07:16:00.000+08:002007-01-19T07:21:12.173+08:00

today i went to the bookstore and read some children's books and i cried. i miss my family and my grandparents. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she held him, she sang: I'll love you forever I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living My baby you'll be. The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-37946953980301209102007-01-10T22:45:00.000+08:002007-01-10T22:46:41.080+08:00

i realize the reason why i've been feeling so awful these days is because i keep turning to people and expecting to gain comfort from people - when really, sometimes, human contact is just impossible and disappointing. i've been looking to the wrong things. right now the only source of comfort i have is from my God, my rock.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-87635919923292826642007-01-03T13:19:00.000+08:002007-01-03T13:21:00.153+08:00

back in chicago. miss all of you, and especially miss you.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1165967002319052622006-12-13T07:41:00.000+08:002006-12-13T07:43:22.336+08:00

i'm in athens right now. it's at the point where it's all like LET ME GO HOME ALREADY. just about two full days more til i take my 1pm flight on friday and end up home on saturday at 5am. it feels so near yet so far ...hurry up! i want to go home!!!

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1165566337795768752006-12-08T16:23:00.000+08:002006-12-08T16:25:37.813+08:00

i leave tomorrow at 3pm for the airport. i'll be in london at 8am london time. SO EXCITED. and then in a week's time, HOME!!touchdown 5am 16th december, saturday. yay yay yay yay yayyyyyyyy!i've already planned my first saturday back. katong laksa, yakun, ponggol seafood. it is going to be great.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1165518743464955342006-12-08T03:01:00.000+08:002006-12-08T03:12:23.490+08:00

as some of you already know, i'm having really bad roommate problems. i'm hoping my next roommate, when i move out, will be asian. i never used to think this way but it's become very apparent to me that asian values are very important. i never even used to be aware of what asian values were but now i am. we never realize it because we've all simply been brought up that way but when you come to

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1165428854813253372006-12-07T02:00:00.000+08:002006-12-07T02:14:14.846+08:00

foodie list:straits kitchenzion road nasi padangseafood at newton - stingray, sotong, crayfishponggol seafoodoluahkatong laksa at holland villagedurian puff from goodwood park hotelcurry chicken ipoh horfun at geylangcurry fish head at muthushamchimbang, char kway teow and chicken rice from maxwellkaya fondue from glutton's baykaya toast and teh tariklime juicesoursop juicecrystal jade kitchen

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1165357031947447512006-12-06T06:15:00.000+08:002006-12-06T06:17:11.963+08:00

salman rushdie is self-indulgent. i do not like him. why the hell could we not have read woolf's 'to the lighthouse' instead. i am pretty sure it's because they discriminate against those poor lesbian writers.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1164758257491593572006-11-29T07:56:00.000+08:002006-11-29T07:57:37.513+08:00

don't want to go for rehearsal, don't want to do work, don't want to take finals.just want to curl up in bed for the rest of the year. we don't even need to eat or sleep.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1164316355649461792006-11-24T05:11:00.000+08:002006-11-24T05:12:35.676+08:00

from walt whitman's song of myselfThere is that in me - I do not know what it is - but I know it is in me. Wrench'd and sweaty - calm and cool then my body becomes, I sleep - I sleep long. I do not know it - it is without name - it is a word unsaid, It is not in any dictionary, utterance, symbol. Something it swings on more than the earth I swing on, To it the creation is the friend whose

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1164136064836382232006-11-22T03:06:00.000+08:002006-11-22T03:07:44.876+08:00

i wish i had more pictures.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1164123627330701922006-11-21T23:38:00.000+08:002006-11-21T23:40:27.356+08:00

babies are so soft and fresh and new.i never thought i'd find myself saying this, but i want to have a baby. gee.okay maybe not. i just like looking at them, which i never used to like.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1164040164465773212006-11-21T00:24:00.000+08:002006-11-21T00:29:24.486+08:00

i went to watch Hotel Cassiopeia at UofC's Court Theatre for a drama class assignment. i really really liked it and i think carol you would have liked it too. yes, i actually liked a play! it's a play inspired by Joseph Cornell, the american artist, whom i am currently quite intrigued by also. it reminded me of when i was back home and i went for shows very easily every other week at the

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1163990700154018752006-11-20T10:35:00.000+08:002006-11-20T10:45:00.173+08:00

my roommate and i are having some sort of unspoken war. she blasts her russian or ghetto music and then i blast my emorock music back. and we are in very close proximity to each other. it's quite like carol's situation with her old housemate. the flat gets so dirty and both are so reluctant to clean up until one person always finally cleans up. and that person is always me because as messy as i

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1163795127188559792006-11-18T04:14:00.000+08:002006-11-18T04:25:27.220+08:00

it's the simple things i miss the most. watching you fall asleep, hearing you murmur in your sleep when i wake you up, sharing secrets over supper at adam road, lots of milk tea and kaya toast, holding hands.so much seems to have changed in the short time i was gone. ms heng has retired, the meepok man has passed away, vivocity has opened with yet more new shops and new brands. new movies are out

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1163461556726790592006-11-14T07:41:00.000+08:002006-11-14T07:45:56.743+08:00

your love is better than chocolate

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1163356929042620902006-11-13T02:37:00.000+08:002006-11-13T02:42:09.060+08:00

it is very unpleasant to get woken up at 4am by talk of 'i need dick' and 'so and so's dick is x inches long' due to roommate and texan floormate having a conversation (i am not joking you, in fact their conversations are far racier than i let on here). i have never felt any desire in my life to feel that part of male anatomy much less have it in my mouth or have it in me. nor do i understand the

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1163208822276348602006-11-11T09:30:00.000+08:002006-11-11T09:33:42.296+08:00

since i'm free from SOSC now i've got A LOT less work. all i have to do this weekend is catch up on my math, finish reading Sula and read up a little bit on Joseph Cornell. possibly going to explore wicker park tomorrow afternoon, the bohemian central of chicago (provided it doesn't snow, sigh). pretty psyched to go thrifting and maybe smoke a bit of weed (JOKING).

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1163193346085543332006-11-11T05:14:00.000+08:002006-11-11T05:15:46.103+08:00

things are looking up. less work and almost the holidays! which means going home and having chicken rice and laksa! and seeing aly! and everyone else. oh joy. going to party a little this weekend and unwind some.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1163056444898939822006-11-09T15:06:00.000+08:002006-11-09T15:14:04.916+08:00

i really miss my friends back home. bea called last night and it felt so great to talk to her. i felt loved. deep deep love. i miss it, a lot. i guess we were all very loving towards each other, always comforting each other and telling each other they were special. i've become so used to that environment ... with bea, gayle, mandy, chalene, carol, celene, dawn, angie, charm ... everyone. you just

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1162851310267115292006-11-07T06:11:00.000+08:002006-11-07T06:15:10.286+08:00

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1162715637051284072006-11-05T16:31:00.000+08:002006-11-05T16:33:57.070+08:00

friends, some photos of puerto rican friend roberto. feeling slightly better now, less homesick.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1162610639178109652006-11-04T11:18:00.000+08:002006-11-04T11:23:59.180+08:00

feeling slightly better after cleaning up my room and message from dars and phonecall from mom and talking a little to brother and of course, hearing from aly. just slightly better. i've got a whole lot of stuff to do this weekend to get my life (well academic life) in order so i better get cracking. also i keep saying i'm going to diet but i never actually do. sigh, freshman

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1162509564805054572006-11-03T07:18:00.000+08:002006-11-03T07:19:24.823+08:00

dear friends i am stressed.i don't think i can make it to the dean's list this quarter. i have so much work and i am sick again and i am dying. i just want to get a 3.0 gpa. help, help, help.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1162413508215338272006-11-02T04:35:00.000+08:002006-11-02T04:38:28.233+08:00

today in math class i observed the girl with the eyebrow piercing reading through a love letter she wrote for someone in yale.it struck me how we're always so alone even when we're in a room with twenty other people - little pieces of us are always somewhere else other than where we are. we are never complete.on a less contemplative note, someone PLEASE teach me how to remove my broken tagboard

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1161377282745674832006-10-21T04:44:00.000+08:002006-10-21T04:48:02.766+08:00

you know something's wrong with your brain when you have a paper due in one hour and you find yourself with the completely astounding ability to churn out four pages of complex sounding crap in one hour. its gp. its the a levels. two pages more to go, and here is an excerpt of what i have written about the republic despite really not having read it properly at all (or finished it for that matter)

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1161131865717560442006-10-18T08:30:00.000+08:002006-10-18T08:37:45.740+08:00

i kind of feel like Miranda from SATC in that the thai food takeout lady knows our orders almost by heart now. which is almost sad, today when i ordered she said, 'no iced tea tonight?' except this isn't due to lack of life but rather due to bad dining hall food and being too lazy to take the bus there for dinner at night and also having too much work and i slept at 5am last night because i was

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1160884484131378702006-10-15T11:54:00.000+08:002006-10-15T11:54:44.150+08:00

love you forever.

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5584825.post-1159991572222755452006-10-05T03:49:00.000+08:002006-10-05T03:52:52.240+08:00

i have experienced the quintessential american college life. i went for a frat party last weekend. it was more fun than i expected. i'd like to go out again this weekend but it throws my sleep system way out of whack and i seriously need to start studying more (am behind in my Republic readings. Plato's Republic is seriously the most dry piece of literature ever written, in my opinion) and if i

Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01888440663428184955noreply@blogger.com0