goodness i feel so lonely without my family here.

when i was lying in bed just a few minutes ago [trying to fall asleep again, but failing], a thought occurred to me - human beings are powerful. we're more powerful than we think.

with a few words, we can alter the lives of someone dramatically. we have the ability to make or to break someone - people say that's the job of love; and love is indeed powerful, but so are we, because we are able to love.

its in us, that power to change lives; we just don't tap on it very often because sometimes we're too oblivious, too cold and too selfish. therein lies our weakness - we have this energy yet we don't use it for certain aggravating reasons.

ultimately, money will run out, beauty will fade, fame will diminish and academic grades will mean nothing. at the end of the day it is how much you have given that will live on. nobody cares what school graham greene went to or what he got on his math tests - alright maybe they are curious, but they won't malign him just because he failed his math exams - he lives on through his words which have made so many people think and reflect upon themselves.

literature can go both ways. it can make you cynical, bitter and pessimistic, or it can make you realize things, open your eyes, strengthen your moral grounding and have you wish to change things.

perhaps that is why we keep these paintings of van gogh and michelangelo so carefully, we make people pay in order to see them, we make money out of shakespeare's plays - because that is the biggest market of all; people who are doing some soul-searching and want so badly to feel something, anything. thankfully they don't charge any fare for church mass - wait, there is shameless commercialism present in portugal and lourdes.

sometimes i think to myself, 'i want that, i want that power to inspire people with my words and actions.' so today i spent some time thinking back on what i've done so far that could have possibly made a difference. there were a few letters written to people i barely knew, and i know two of them still keep my letters in their wallet - i didn't realize the significance of that till now.

it sounds awfully hard and cliche, but this is what i want aspire to do and have always aspired but forgotten along the way. i want to make people's lives a little easier, better, more meaningful and i have always wanted to do it through my writing because sometimes i get the feeling that's what God intended - but then, you never know.

+ posted by M @ 10:32 AM