i still can't bring myself to sing the njc school song.

anyhow. i think i'm a real anti-social, unenthusiastic person. i must change my image in class and be more.. um nice. or something. just as soon as i can overcome my sc-sickness.

nj had a dance party today; i think its because njcians are deprived of clubbing they keep having these dance parties. i went to look for the sc gang. we tried getting into it but in the end wong ying, elsa, franc ran out of the crowd and i unwittingly followed them. what were they up to? elsa was asking her OG to play basketball and i had stupidly run along. i am bad at competitive sport. i run occasionally [okay i used to run very often till holidays started and school started again]but that's it. njc's countless stairs make me tired. i ended up playing basketball with boys from her OG whom i didn't know at all and couldn't differentiate.

basketball is actually quite fun although i did practically nothing to help my team.

i'm actually grateful for chris kho's presence in nj. i never thought i'd say something like that.

today at sentosa, i was rather depressed. everything reminded me of SCGS and four pr. we even had to visit the bloody campsite. and i remember running around up and down the steps, passing the water pieces and the night trek to the musical fountains. i tried very hard not to cry while i walked alone and ahead. i'm always walking alone in class. but actually, i sort of like it that way. i think i haven't been in much mood to be around people and talk to them. during lunch i talked a bit more to the guys and it was fine. but for the OG dinner i sort of quieted down because i was just too tired to try and be sociable. i guess i should be thankful that the OG doesn't seem that put off by my distant behaviour and that some of them still try talking to me.

after dinner i walked out, wanting to take a taxi home but no taxi came. i called mandy, assuming she was at KAP with her OG but it turned out she was also at bukit timah plaza. so i walked back in and met her at the pool place. both of us talked a lot, along with theng theng, about scgs and our OGs. it really helps that amanda is in njc. without her, i'd be lost and feeling totally rotten.

please remind me not to visit pool places. i think i have forgotten how seedy the guys at pool halls can be. after a while some guy [with his friends lingering behind] approached us.

random guy: hi, my friend wants to get to know you as a friend. [he points to me]
me: huh. um no its ok..
random guy: please. he's begging you for your number.
me: uh.. no thanks..
random guy: he's over there. the one in the orange shirt. he's kind of cute.. [gestures toward the guy sitting down on the other side of the room and smiling. to be fair, he really looked quite acceptable.]
theng: just give lah!
me [exclaiming]: no!
random guy: please?
me: no, its ok. really.

i think they got the message after that, and finally left me alone. i quickly left after that, being freaked out. guys here are pathetic. if you want to know me, come and talk to me yourself. besides, giving out numbers to strangers who don't even ask themselves and look of questionable background isn't something i do. guys should learn how to introduce themselves. how the heck do people get attached here i do not know. and honestly, my hair was a greasy mess, i was grubby from running around sentosa all morning, and i was wearing my baggy polo sweater which makes me look even more bloated than usual - not the look that would be appealing to a pool-playing beng.

oh God, do i look like that much of an ah lian.

+ posted by M @ 12:27 AM