i went for the PR dinner last night but it didn't lift my spirits as much as i hoped it would because i was feeling sick and down and out. apparently everyone could just feel the misery generating from me and now the gang are worried because they have never seen me so pessimistic and lifeless before.

i must be in a really horrible emotional and physical state. i don't like how i've changed and i can't blame anything else because i let it happen; i let it all get to me.

people started crying and i almost started myself - but as you know, i'm just not very good at crying. still, i have faith. something happened today which reminded me that God had not abandoned me or given up on me.

i woke up today, groggy and searching for some form of identification to bring to the clinic, and i came across a letter on my table. i assumed it to be a late christmas card - it was torn and weathered. at first i wondered if it was the invitation from Don, but the handwriting didn't look like his. it was the generic sort of handwriting girls started developing in secondary two. it always amazed me how people could have such unnatural handwriting and survive history and literature exams. anyhow, i opened it to find that it was from kit lu, my sec two partner in class. she didn't write much, but included this quote from the little prince i liked very much at the time when we knew each other:

it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye.

with the letter she gave me a simple cross bracelet [she's not a christian] and she gave me the first successful friendship bracelet she made.

i found the simple letter and gifts very meaningful. interpret them whichever way you wish because i don't feel like expounding on my feelings here. like the letter, love withstands little tears, rough weather and ends up slightly aged - but retains its meaning.

you're right, donaire, i am not alone.

+ posted by M @ 2:10 PM