i will not bend i will not break

honestly, i've been listening to too much dashboard confessional. it has a terrible effect on me - basically it makes me depressed because i wish i were dating Chris Carrabba.

anyhow. how did i spend the new year. watched mona lisa smile. not that great, in my opinion. the women's lib was a bit too contrived - and after having watched something like dead poet's society; well it just couldn't live up to my expectations. i liked the plotline with julia stiles very much though. je played hands down on my brother's guitar and taught me the intro which i found difficult even. sleep over at my place with mel, cel and mandy. count down. slob out.

i can't believe i'm never seeing most of my friends in school anymore. i'm an njcian. ha. can't believe that has happened.

ah what the heck, i just can't let go yet. i basically floated around lifelessly unwilling to attach myself to this school because i still feel like i belong to sc. why should i be saying another school's cheers? yep that kind of attitude is going to get my nowhere basically. met chris at sch. it's so weird that we're schoolmates now, but he is a nice sort of friend, i'll give him that.

i haven't really stepped out of my comfort zone yet because i basically hung out with the sc girls. it's kind of weird that jasmine was in nj but i hardly saw her cos i was with mandy and charis. i find the saying out of sight, out of mind is very applicable to my life. where have they gone? things seem to disintegrate when i can't see them.

new year, new life, new attitude - but still, the old me. most definitely. this may sound sad, but i'm actually more excited for classtime and lessons - that's when the bonding really begins, and that's when i get to read eight books and cover aldous huxley's brave new world. i know i'm not for lit as an examinable subject, but its interesting, listening to various people interpret the texts - namely the teachers. and of course it's nice to know that i'm basically doing really great stuff and not anymore of that boring science textbook stuff. i just wish we could do ancient history though.

on monday i will meet my real OG, and maybe my classmates. hope they'll be great cos i think it's really the people that makes or breaks jc life. i was thinking of running for studént's council; but decided against it today. i'd have to be terribly enthusiastic, capable, tolerant and encouraging. being faced by sian sian students and having to try to conjure school spirit. having to choreograph the mass dance. nup. i don't seem to be one of those happy shiny types, sadly. and then of course i'd have to sacrifice my holidays. NO WAY MAN. i want a life.

but who's to know what will happen? somewhere in december 2003 i could feel it; and even around the o level period before the feeling got engulfed by my books and physics facts ... 2004 is going to be a big year. why? i have no idea, i could just feel all the oncoming change waiting to happen. hopefully, for the better.

+ posted by M @ 5:31 PM