scary encounter with econs teacher today. i was checking sms during class [which of course, i shouldn't have been] when she suddenly popped up and asked if i could please give her my phone. well, dumbly i handed it over to her. after that i wondered if i should have kicked up a fuss and refused or just kept it. i decided that handing it over was the best thing to do. geez i haven't gotten into this sort of trouble since i was sec one. luckily she gave it back to me at the end of the class but frankly i was rather freaked out because now her impression of me must be ruined. and econs isn't something i understand at all.

plus i'm an appeal case. i hate being an appeal case, there are all these feelings of obligation within me, and no gratefulness because i don't even want to be in njc. so as you can imagine i feel rather torn. at least the others that feel obliged, do feel grateful too because they WANT to be in njc, but i am an appeal case that doesn't want to be njc - indeed that is weird. i am very weird. i'd have a hard time explaining that so i just keep my mouth shut most of the time.

also, i have been sleeping during history class, which is very bad because my history teacher is my form teacher and should i try applying again for the humans scholarship; well i ain't gonna get a good recommendation if i carry on this way.

buck up, mel, buck up so you can leave this grey hell.

+ posted by M @ 7:05 PM