i went for sunday mass today after a two week hiatus.

and i know for sure that i need God in my life. today's gospel reading was john 20:19-23.

If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven."

John 20:23

i was very angry last night. very angry. i have not been that angry for a long time. but anger is just a way of dealing with the deep hurt that has been caused. i wanted to see that person suffer, i wanted to exact revenge. i have been used and abused and neglected and mistreated. but today, i went to church, and i knew that God, my God who loves me so much, would want me to forgive that person and to love that person, despite all the hurt that the person has inflicted on me. and i know that God, MY MIGHTY GOD THAT RULES OVER ALL, will give me the strength that i need to forgive and fill my heart with love.

there's enough hate in this world - i don't need to be another person that contributes.

those that do not understand the great mercy of God will probably think me stupid for continuing to be friends with this person, for continuing to love this person - so be it. Jesus Christ will be my light.

+ posted by M @ 10:33 PM