When You are Old by WB Yeats

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

i was searching this morning for Christy Brown's work ever since my dad told me i should strive to be like him. If he can write poetry with his left foot, why can't you write poetry amidst this grey environment as you so put it? Unfortunately and ironically, the movie based on his life story has become so famous it is hard to find his poetry because google gives you the movie reviews instead. perhaps dad is right, though at this point i feel like no one will ever understand this constriction i experience.

i talked with carol last night, and she said something - 'i dont want you to ... go away'. i knew exactly what she meant. she doesn't want me to cross over to the other side, to leave this realm of beauty and hope and of Things That Matter. she put it very aptly with that simple phrase. yes, i am slipping away, each day from the shores of life. i say this seriously and without dramatism - life is not life when you do not write, when you do not feel for words. ink is the very blood that courses through my veins and words i do bleed, perhaps sometimes too easily. it has been a struggle, to keep alive, to keep from letting go of myself - and i refuse. i refuse to let go.

i've made my decision. i will continue to love and read and write and think and find beauty in wilfred owen and alvin pang. what keeps me going? love. words. literature. the hope of getting to a poetry reading sometime soon. fear not my friends, you haven't lost me to The Other Side.

+ posted by M @ 12:48 PM