i just got back from wonderful picnic at botanical gardens.

beatrice came over today and we attempted work but it was unsuccessful. i then collapsed onto bad in state of jetlag and refused to get up until chalene called up at 6.40 demanding i walk over to the gardens NOW.

so walked over with bea, brought cupcakes for them. saw them playing badminton by the lake and then soon after sat down and said grace together before eating. the swans were swimming around making strange honking noises and the weather was nice and overcast but not raining. i haven't done that for a long while, pray as a group, that is. one of the other regrets i have of nj is that i never joined the cf in the mornings because i'd come to school too late. i think i must make more effort. ate mix of stuff together and after that had our own worship session which was really nice. i haven't done that in a long time too. there were so many songs i wanted to sing suddenly, but in the end we just sang five. each of us picked one song to sing together. so you would come, because he lives, God of wonders, as the deer [i picked that!] and above all. chalene said prayers before each song and i did the closing prayer.

it felt really good to pray together and sing together and just be together after such a long time. the friendships i formed with scgs mates are really ones i will cherish forever and it's always with them that i really feel this pure happiness in my heart. it's beautiful, you know.

i haven't been so happy and so at ease for a long time. today i really felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders and i didn't even have to say anything to them about it. just being with them made me all the better.

chiaying was complaining about how it was very dark and how she felt very isolated and weird because no one else seemed to be around in the park anymore and chalene said, 'don't worry! we already prayed for God to send his angels around us. one legion is 6000 you know!'

you have just got to love chalene.

after singing it got quite dark so we went to the food haven to sit and talk. we talked about UK trip days and barry the bus driver and i really missed it. then chalene had to go so i said i would walk back home [it is less than five minutes back] and she refused to let me because it was dark. so much for the legions of angels talk:)

i see that i really took all these things for granted and didn't see just how good i had it with all these wonderful friends. perhaps that's why God put me in njc, to test me and show me just how lucky i was. there are some days when i really do sit in my room and recount all the good times i've had and it's always with these people. and there are days when i remember how carol told me that in my room she got the sense that i was very much loved. and it is true. i still remember the crazy way sherm, angela and je put together a christmas card for me. i still look at the painted tile that dawn gave me. it's on my desk along with the book from the six of them. i have their hapen stand at the corner of my room and the pictures in my notebook. i have the shoes they gave me in my cupboard. and best of all, i have all the memories engraved into my soul. it's not just what they gave me, but what we gave charm for her birthday, what we did for kai, what we did for jen, what we did for jas, what we did for ying and what we did for yilin - how happy we made each other all the time and how happy i could make them. and i wish i could be around all these people who loved me once again but i know that i have to be content with seeing them when i can and not everyday like i used to.

i really thank God for giving me these people in my life because for now all i really have are the memories to keep my alive.

Crucified, laid behind a stone,
He lived to die, rejected and alone,
like a rose trampled on the ground
He took the fall, and thought of me
above all

+ posted by M @ 9:25 PM