to put it simply: today's lit lesson ROCKED ROCKED ROCKED!!!

i'm sorry i can't find a more poignant or 'mature' way to describe it.

anyway. it was champagne's lesson today [heart of darkness - joseph conrad]. usually i fall asleep in all her lessons [she's a good teacher, really. its just her tone and the way we work at all the words one by one], but today i stayed awake the whole time and just thought and thought and thought. and there was such an intensity in her words that i couldn't stop thinking.

she talked about the theory of existentialism that arose from the horrors of world war two. philosophers like albert camus and sartre believed in it. this theory is such that there is no God, no purpose and meaning to life. the only thing that is clear cut is our physical existence. that is the only one thing man actually really possesses - his existence. and his existence is precious because since there is no God, after death he would just become nothing. thus death is seen to be the greatest evil and murder is the worst crime one could ever commit because in that way one is taking away the only thing his fellow human has. however, the philosophers hate the judiciary system because they are disdainful of the fact that one man should have the power to sentence another to death. and i have to agree with this - everyone is flawed - how can we judge? what gives us this divinity to grant death to someone even if we have the legal authority to? nothing. it is wrong. i think that is wrong.  

the other thing man has is reality.  he doesn't possess it, but it is REALITY. all one has to cling on to is all that is real - there isn't such a thing as intangible because remember there is no purpose here. emotions, feelings, the intangible are meaningless, purposeless and void. reality is everything in this life. and thus in this theory, lying is seen as a form of murder. this is because when one lies, one distorts reality and creates illusions which go against reality. when you lie to someone, you destroy his reality [equated to his life, basically] and you are in some way killing that person because reality is the only thing he can hold on to, the only thing he can really be sure of. in this life there are no answers to his questions, but reality is a security, a constant. something that is there.

she explained it in this way to us. let's say you actually dislike this person, but you lie to him saying you do. you have made a new false reality for him - because his perception [you like him] is contradictory to the ACTUAL reality [you hate him] and this will affect the way he reacts to you and his whole outlook on events related to you. in this way you are keeping him from reality, which i emphasize again, is seen as the only thing he can hold on to.

do you get me?

and then she talked about writing. and how writers often hint at the frustrations they have with writing. and i loved this because i could really relate to this. right now too as i write about existentialism in the hope of getting you to understand. in heart of darkness, marlow is frustrated and he keeps asking, 'do you understand? how can i get you to understand?' because he is unable to properly convey his thoughts. and he likens it to trying to tell a person about your dream. which is impossible because a dream is so absurd and so personal to you. we live as we dream - alone.

how do you describe the colour red to someone who's blind?

continuing, she talked about this movie she watched. in which creatures that were basically in the form of bright lights - just bright spots of light - sent one of their kind to earth in human form. and as the creature left earth to return to his home, he told them, 'you humans are sad. you are the saddest race ever to live because you are all alone. you are trapped in your physical bodies and unable to truly be with one another. you are sad.' we will never be able to get others to truly understand. the most we can do is use words and talk and gesture but we will never be able to get someone to feel exactly the way we do. and as i write now i have no idea how to describe it to you, but there's so much i want to say and i think. in this sense, we're really all alone, we will never truly be connected to someone else because there is no way to do so.

today's lesson was great. i'm not saying i believe in existentialism - but it's wonderful to think about these things and realize the thoughts of others.  

 

 

 

+ posted by M @ 7:19 PM