i think i have attained a certain level of muggerism.

performed feat of staying up from midnight to FIVE AM this morning cramming in history/lit/math. and then after that i couldn't sleep until 7 AM. after which i woke up at 10.30 AM for math tuition. 3.5 hours of sleep, and all because of the CTs. i know i know, it's partly cos of my procrastination, bad time management in the past few weeks but honestly if this staying up till 4 am to mug nonsense continues i think i'm going to die.

the a levels are killing me. IT'S RUINING MY LIFE. i spend every waking minute thinking about my studies [even when i'm here blogging i'm thinking of the pile of IH notes on my desk i haven't highlighted yet] and i've now developed sinuses in the morning. my skin has worsened and my eyes are weirded out. and i am missing all the things i so want to do. i know, whining about all this is not going to get me anywhere but honestly sometimes it feels so futile [i'm pretty sure i'm not getting a B for math. HAHA].

let this year be over, quick. hell is most torturous when prolonged. i don't mean to get all melodramatic, but forgive me i'm functioning on less than 5 hours of sleep, something i haven't done since prom when i was much younger and less jaded and weary.

yes. i've become weary. i think jc life has really aged me in this aspect. that's how i tell the j1s from the j2s. the j1s are still all fresh faced and hopeful while the j2s look little less than the living dead walking the grey grounds of njc.

Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

MATTHEW 11:28-30

the Lord is my salvation. i will rise on the wings of eagles, for Christ is by my side every step of the way.

+ posted by M @ 9:02 PM