do you know yam yam biscuits have words on them? yes, the yam yam sticks you dip into chocolate. they are printed with wise adages such as 'do not be timid' and 'elephant jumbo'. because of that, they are now my favourite biscuit thing.

have discovered some jems on the km website. maybe good enough to make my 30 dollars spent on a constantly malfunctioning website valid.

the math teachers enjoy posting interesting descriptions of themselves in their profiles -
'aRTY nERd wHo EnjoYs soLvinG MathEMatiCal ProbLems. FaVouRite toPics: ANalYsis, MeaSuRe TheoRy, StaTistIcs. EnjoYs MoVIes invoLving MathemAtics, but NOT Science. Maths not equal to Science for goodness sake!' and one even posted his homepage/blog address, which was quite interesting. i guess it's so often we forget we're dealing with real people in school because we know close to nothing about them personally. the plethora of emotions and events that happens in one's life jump out at me from my computer screen and make the person a lot more real than what he used to be. it's sad that it takes this nosy, almost illicit prying into someone's personal life via his blog to make him more real - and i say prying because though he posted his homepage for all to see, there's always that twinge of knowing you're making yourself ever so vulnerable by doing that.

the english teachers are a lot more private in their profiles, of course, as they always are. i wonder if it's a trait that comes with the teaching of different subjects. math teachers always connecting more with the students and bringing themselves down to joke with them in child-like manners while the english teachers are rather aloof, though much more witty - but the jokes are impersonal and though at times they share personal experiences with us it isn't for the point of sharing something, but rather to relate themselves to the piece of writing we're studying so we find it easier to understand.

and of course, the hilarious e-lecture on scansion that's on km. i was pleased to find something on scansion because i never copied notes last year and realize it's quite important but it's rather hard to learn something from a lecture which makes you laugh so much. there's dorothy chua giving the e-lecture and whitby's voice used as a demo to read out varying tones and stresses of the words - it is incredibly, incredibly funny. i don't know how dorothy chua managed to keep a straight face while teaching it. i can imagine the english teachers, in pains having to do those things - most of them hate technology and have not much idea how to use it and couldn't care less about learning how to if it wasn't required of them.

i realize i don't live a God-centred life. that though i love God, there are other things i love. and when He asks us to deny everything else for Him - it's very hard for me to give up things like art, and film, and literature, and theatre for Him. many people see God as the way the truth and the life. and i say it, but do i believe it? because ultimately my life goal is not aligned to His purpose. my life goal is to spend life creating art, and beauty and looking for truth and touching people's lives - but not through God, through MY art. and i know God is truth, but i'm searching for another truth altogether. and that's just wrong, isn't it? God isn't my priority in life. not all the time, and that disturbs me.

i can't feel Him anymore. i just can't. and because of that i've hit the ultimate low in my life. there's a void because i just don't think i can feel God's presence at this point.

+ posted by M @ 6:17 PM