have come to the startling realization that WE ARE GROWING UP.

as i looked at kai's blog today and the pictures of her and her MED FAC friends - well, i just realized, i have a friend who's going to be a DOCTOR/SURGEON. i've gotten closer to being - 'an adult', as adults all have friends who are doctors or orthodontists or involved in a particular line of work - 'do you remember [insert old classmate's name]? what's he doing now?' my dad might say to a fellow old acs friend and then his friend replies, 'oh, running some restaurant' or something of that sort.

i wonder if one day it'll be like that with me. if kai will be for my child what auntie j [my mother's friend] is to us. a sort of part-time personal doctor to us, who doesn't charge but we 'pay' with a box of chocolates or fruit basket, just drops by the house to give us flu jabs and check on various physical peculiarities ['why isn't my toe moving?'].

it will no longer be friends from XJC - it will soon be friends from XUniversity and then it will be friends from X companies, X line of work, etc.

it's really sort of scary but thrilling, in a sense. and it feels very, very strange. i'm not ready to belong to X company yet and work at something, for someone, for Life. a part time ice cream job is all dandy because it's Part Time, and For Fun. but working to finance oneself and learning how to pay bills? it seems like something i have to learn soon just as older people have to learn how to use the computer/email etc. i would much rather live in a caravan and move from spot to spot like a hippie - it would be fun not to 'Exist', to slip through the cracks of the Law. but most probably, i will soon be fully integrated into the demanding and technical Ways Of The World [tax, housing, driving, grocery shopping for self etc etc] that one must follow in order to Exist in this world and Stay Free [that is, out of jail]. and that, that is really scary to me, for some reason i can't quite put my finger on.

+ posted by M @ 5:02 PM