another first draft

we shared a goodbye like lovers share a dessert after a meal that was too much. necessary, but something to be careful of regretting. requiring a certain silent telepathy to prevent the clashing of forks over the same bit of sponge cake or tart.

goodbye - an expression used when parting, Oxford says. it's just a word one must use to warn the other of an immediate departure, so as not to appear brash, rude. like all formalities, it requires a proper, often-rehearsed response, 'goodbye, you take care too'. the word saved us from the real drama of the situation - that is, to hold on to you before you got lost in the crowd, to refuse the obligatory response.

there are different goodbyes to be felt. some linger on my lips like the memory of you, some tear our hearts out violently, some are muted, some are casual and flippant, some are only temporary. i much prefer the almost childish 'see you later, alligator' to the finality implied by 'goodbye'. our goodbye seemed to have a 'forever' attached to it neither of us wanted to enunciate.

how did this absurdity originate? we could have remained a people who simply said, 'bye', but perhaps one day a polite (or spiteful?) lover decided to throw in the word 'good' for measure. 'good-bye' almost like 'good-riddance'. the word caught on - an effective way to euphemise painful partings. but most of the time, stinging more than soothing.

i won't wish you 'goodbye' in return - your leaving me can't be a good thing. i would say 'farewell' because i do hope for you to be happy, even if i can't be the one to assure that. but while i wish for your happiness, i can't say i would like to hear of it when i'm not the cause of it. therefore, i say,

'till we meet again' (because perhaps, somewhere in time, things will finally go our way)

+ posted by M @ 2:47 PM