i'm not sure if this is an effect of moodswings ... but i feel slightly heartened right now.

THERE IS HOPE AND BEAUTY IN THIS WORLD. I HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT. or else, what else is there left to do?

what's the point of living if you don't believe in truth, beauty, freedom and love! there is no point, you might as well just jump!

so if i'm going to make this choice to carry on living, i have to believe there's something greater out there or else my life WILL be pointless. so yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, i believe i believe i believe. i will keep on believing, i will keep hanging on to these ideals because this is who i am and what i am.

i was very affected yesterday when my mother told me that i am too idealistic a person, that i expect too much out of life and PEOPLE which is why i am always disappointed, that i romanticise things far too much. it made me feel like i really wasn't made to survive in this world, that my idealism, and my dreaming were my greatest flaws.

but you know what? this is WHO I AM. and i'm not going to change that for the world, because if i don't believe in goodness and truth and beauty there is nothing else left for me to do. and i really DO believe these things exist, and i WILL find them, i WILL I WILL I WILL. if my heart is going to get smashed to smithereens because i expect too much of PEOPLE and of the WORLD - let it be, LET IT BE. this is the only way i know how to live my life and if i'm going to get hurt just because i believe in the goodness of people, SO BE IT.

i am who i am, and maybe i'll finally be okay with that someday.

+ posted by M @ 11:53 PM