so, prom is over. i think some people could tell i was a bit moody or bored, especially nina when i met her. she said, 'enjoy your prom, mel' in such a manner that i knew she saw i wasn't very ... high, as compared to many others. also, twice people approached me telling me i looked bored and therefore, 'let's take a photo'. it was a very weird affair. people just taking photos all the time, flashes going off every other second. everyone acting all nice to each other when they normally wouldn't. all a bit too contrived for my taste - but then maybe right now i sound like the biggest killjoy on earth. in bea's words, we have a 'miserable amount of photos' which we will trade later because i stuck to my 'i will only take photos with people who ask me' rule. and well, that's the truth - not many people expressed a desire to take a photo with me (or remember me). so that's that.

very energy-sapping. i ended up just sitting and standing around and helping random people take their photos most of the time. at least the arts people were smart enough to save on the trip to Clubhome and the money since vin the seasoned clubber told us that it would suck. well it did, we ended up meeting a whole bunch of people after we finished up at acid bar who told us the party sucked. nj's first party this year and it had to suck. pretty sad, if you ask me. after which we did nothing important. i ended up falling asleep at 5 am. i'm normally really nocturnal, but i didn't see anything worth staying up for and the beds at swissotel were really comfortable (really!).

anyway, all the same i guess it was nice to just chill around the room with chew, vin, sam, dav, choo and bea. shi wei was completely gone after the trip to acid bar and mo was pretty tired. what a motley crew. oh, and before i forget - jeremy went to a band audition and made it. i'm not sure what that means, but maybe i'll get to hear my song performed sooner than i thought. how interesting.

i spent a lot of time out on the balcony looking out and i realized that the view was really nice if one were to look far out into the distance when all the lights blended together. when one looks at the cars downstairs they look like toys, and for a while you feel as though the banana peel you throw down won't have any effect - that it will just go unnoticed. but inevitably, if you were to throw it over, it would land on something. maybe that's the mentality behind killer litter - from such great heights it doesn't seem as if anything bears any consequence. it's nice to know that somehow we can all affect each other in the smallest ways even if we can't see that, just as someone helped me this past week.

omg. college apps. colllege appppps. i now realize i've been taking things too easy and i have to start on them like NOW. freaking out here.

i awoke at 10something and it was quite an unhappy awakening. i woke up because all the girls were still awake and talking about the newspapers. i read the home page and was reminded that nguyen tuong van was hanged at dawn today. it really is very upsetting and i was rather affected. i thought about how trivial our prom was compared to a state sanctioned execution of this man. i think that the human rights groups really did try hard to save him, going as far as to send out that email telling us to all forward emails to various world leaders urging them to severe diplomatic relations with singapore if nguyen tuong van were to be executed. maybe that seems like a really impractical solution and it makes me seem silly for forwarding it too because i'm putting singapore's 'national security' at stake, and maybe it also seemed implausible because there is no way world leaders would sacrifice diplomacy for a man's life (calculative politics) but i had to hang on to that tiny shred of hope and i had to believe. i believe that the people who supported this cause really tried hard and sometimes love just isn't enough when it comes to the ways of the world. i'll be praying for his soul tonight.

i also find it very appalling that the singapore government normally doesn't allow physical contact between the prisoner and his/her loved ones because it can apparently undo all the psychological work they've done the past months or something to that extent. it's ridiculous - they're trying to keep peoples' emotions at bay so they can die 'properly'? heartless, cruel and cold.

there are a lot of things that make me so upset and get me so fired up (here i am crusading yet again) but i have to pick my battles and i won't give up. i won't lose faith.

+ posted by M @ 7:56 PM