the sunday was good.

i talked to my brother for the first time in days, which was nice. when our parents (and 3 siblings) are away, we only have each other, yet he's so busy with training and i'm busy going out and in this case with prom this week. it's funny how we can live in the same house and barely meet because of how packed life is. so today, being sunday, we finally got to talk a bit. we're not very close as some siblings are, but still, it was nice to talk to him about prom (and what a certain senior of his wore - his reaction was priceless!), soccer (LIVERPOOL CHELSEA GAME COMING UP! WOO! time to earn some moneyyyy) and to discuss music and stuff. we're both into Bruce Springsteen right now, though he still thinks The Ataris sucks and doesn't get my interest in Death Cab For Cutie. and as always he'll ask if i have certain songs and i'll always have them because i'm such a pirate and he'll be dismayed, 'why do you have so many songs?!'

i also reflected a lot on what it means to have really really graduated from NJC, what with prom being over - after prom i really am free of NJC (apart from going back to collect results, but the A Level is not NJC). and you know something, i'm really really very glad to be out. i can't really say i'm sad at all. sure, i miss drama tons and i really treasure the drama experience (and first exco experience) but on the whole i'm really really glad to be leaving. bea and i have often talked about this and a lot of the time i feel our lives in njc were rather sad. i'm glad to be free of the arts politicking and the illusions people have of us. i'm glad to be free of all these things.

and most importantly, i thank God so much for BEA and MANDY. i now realize that God really provided for me in NJC even though i complained so much all the time because He gave me two really, really good friends that i will treasure for life. from SC days till now and till the future! these friendships are built on God's providence and love and thus are STRONG. there is no politicking here (unlike so many other friendships in NJC i experienced), just plain and simple love. where other people got sucked into the politicking and awfulness, you two didn't. i love you two so much, and i think without you two in NJC i really wouldn't have survived. thank You God, You really really provided for me even though i didn't see it most of the time.

i won't be upset over things that happened or won't happen anymore, because i know that God intends the VERY BEST for me. He really wants me to be happy and everything that happens is the best for me even though i cannot always see it His way. what will happen will happen, and what won't, won't - He is in COMPLETE CONTROL, and i wouldn't have it any other way. slowly but surely, i'm beginning to trust Him again.

it's really a good feeling, to be happy with God. there are lots of issues and things bugging me, lots of things that have to be dealt with, lots of thoughts running through my head, lots of confused emotions. but yet i feel at peace (when i normally wouldn't) because i know that God is really working in His own beautiful (albeit mysterious) way.

i think it's the Christmas spirit.

+ posted by M @ 3:13 AM