yes, it's me. i awake THAT early. it's 9.30 now.

it's not that i'm extra strong in carrying out my End of Slob resolution but maybe this could be a start. i'm up because i feel very strange. i have a compulsion to write but my thoughts are in a mess and i don't really know what to say. i didn't write at all in the Gold Coast, i should have, but i was of course too lazy to pick up the pen and write.

there is something i want to get down though. i've got an idea for a film. i've gotten ideas for snippets of film before and for pages of books and for many things but not actually in entirety. this is in its entirety. i haven't gotten everything yet but i know i'll somehow be able to flesh it out from the stuff i know. i want to do a slightly autobiographical film on a family growing up in Ipoh (or Balo, as it is known in Hakka). the film will have to be largely in Hakka (i'll have to work hard to find out about the dialect), while the story is still in Ipoh. it will be set in the '30s - '70s (if i decide to bring the storyline to a Singapore one). i don't really KNOW what i want to express, but i know that i have to do this. the family is impoverished in Ipoh, and i don't want it to be one of those films that give the idea that poverty is beautiful and poignant (as i've seen so many times before and feel is rather sugar-coated, sometimes). poverty is destructive, it leads to deprivation, it is not beautiful - but the human spirit to survive is. people so often get confused about that, i feel. so that's what i want to show instead. i'm not sure i agree with the idea that poverty creates a stronger love, but i'll have to think on that more.

i already have some scenes running through my head, but no actual story as yet because i have to think of what it is i am trying to convey on the whole. that felt good, to write that.

+ posted by M @ 9:28 AM