nothing feels good

my dad wants me to be a 'regular person', as he says in his own words. i really hate when he says that, i really do. we're currently not talking. or rather, i am not talking to him. i didn't decide it, i just realized today that i haven't talked to him for the past two days. we didn't declare a cold war, or anything. i just have nothing to say to him after him not really caring to talk to me for the last few years of my life. and this is not me being an angsty teenager. i just have nothing real to say to anyone anymore, because nothing ever comes out the way it should or actually gets understood. the thing is, people don't even know the first thing about me.

sure, i should be grateful. for having a comfortable life and so on and so on and so on. but honestly, when there's no emotional side to it - it doesn't really matter.

ouch. that was almost too honest for me to write. truth or lies, truth or lies? everyone says gimmesometruth, but regrets that when they actually hear it. so what is the point, anyway?

+ posted by M @ 3:08 AM