people keep asking, 'so how?'

um, i don't know you know. it does sound very strange of me considering i was dying to see this film and i usually really like films that i think i will like, but this time i can't say i liked Brokeback Mountain as much as i expected to like it. i'm not saying i didn't like it, i just didn't LOVE it. which is the problem when a movie becomes overexposed and so hyped up and i know too many things about it. especially after reading many critic reviews which give away practically the whole story and all the key lines. when i read things in the papers like 'in a key scene one of the characters frustratedly says, 'i wish i could quit you'' i imagine in my head how the line should be said and when it turns out differently in the movie (which it did) it makes me feel very odd.

yes, i did feel sad. it was very very sad. there are certain scenes that will stay with me for a very long time. such as the last scene when we see Ennis looking at their two shirts hung inside his closet, one layered over the other - the fact that even after Jack died he still continued to closet his love for him and couldn't bring himself to publicly accept that he loved whom he loved. it was a story of forbidden love in every sense and you could feel the desperation and tragedy to full effect, but somehow i still didn't feel fully satisfied after this movie. maybe i would have enjoyed the book more? i think i really did go in with extremely high expectations.

i suppose i've finally watched the movie i really really really was dying to see it because it really is an amazing thing - making such big waves in the film industry. the cinematography was good, the acting was superb all round, the direction and vision was there but it didn't get to me as much as it should have.

yes, i admire Ang Lee and the crew and the cast for valiantly and bravely doing this movie, for bringing awareness to the frightening fear and discrimination homosexuals live with which they shouldn't be subjected to. for showing people that societal prejudice and fear can destroy what could have been pure happiness. and every person they can touch, every mind they can open and every perspective they can change - it matters.

and that's why i think i didn't enjoy it as much as i thought i would, from a personal level. this movie was was made with the purpose of changing perspectives on 'gay love'. this movie was meant to show that love is love is love. and i don't mean to sound condescending, but i already knew that. and somehow this movie didn't reinforce that for me very strongly either. i expected a very very BIG life-changing sort of impact from this movie and i didn't get it. so i guess that's why i'm not that enthusiastic about Brokeback. if i hadn't known anything about it, if i hadn't heard all the hype, read all the reviews and interviews then maybe i would have loved it. it's like that for me.

i got more out of last year's Oscar darling (Million Dollar Baby) than Brokeback. Million Dollar Baby made me question ideals i had held so strongly before - it made me rethink and re-evaluate my thoughts and feelings towards Euthanasia, and till today i'm still grappling with that issue. i also felt a lot more for the characters when i watched it. but to be fair, i went in knowing next to nothing about Million Dollar Baby (except the stuff everyone saw in the ads) when i went to watch it.

art is meant to open peoples' eyes, to make them learn things and see beauty as they never have before, to change them in some way after experiencing the piece of art. this film has done this for many many people, and thus on that level i DO feel it IS an absolutely beautiful work of art. but at a personal level it hasn't done that for me, and thus as a film i cannot admire it as much. while i did feel for it greatly, i did not feel it enough. yes i did feel sad for Ennis and Jack and even their wives. i'm not heartless. but all the things i knew before watching this film prevented me from REALLY feeling it all. when something is such a gigantic hit, you really do feel the gravity of the word INDUSTRY - that it is really just a film, that these are famous big name actors doing their job. such big 'blockbusters' do not elevate me to the point where reality and identity is suspended, unlike smaller lesser-known arthouse flicks. was that understandable? it's late, i'm not in the best state of mind for word positioning and rephrasing exercises.

i must say this though, the acting REALLY was ethereal. from a person who went to see this movie mainly because of Jake:

heath ledger CANNOT be lauded enough for his seamless performance. seriously, amazing amazing amazing. i'll have to watch Capote and see for myself if Philip Seymour Hoffman manages to trump him.

+ posted by M @ 12:12 AM