i went to starbucks to fill in the employment form today. it has dawned on me that, 'yeah, the pay really is rubbish' and also they want my time for 6 months! which is just unbelievable. it seems working really hasn't taught me much in the quite important aspect i was supposed to learn about (grammatically wrong, but uh) - COMMITMENT. i remember writing about commitment earlier this year just as i was about to start my job, and right now i STILL have commitment issues. i mean, even a job like zhaowei can't get me to stay? i like to think i'm too young to think about commitment but there has to come a day when i'll finally stop thinking that way and i don't see it coming any time soon when it really should be, i think.

anyway, i've gotten very keen on getting myself something at SAM (singapore art museum) and if they don't reply my enquiry i think i just might call them up, or even head down there personally. island creamery is also hiring but it doesn't seem all that interesting a place to work at - you only ever meet jc kids there (whom i cannot stand seeing around in town, i know it's bad of me to think that way, but really!) and it's full time and stanley seems like a pretty uptight boss. but the good thing is, no uniform? working around bukit timah is just so boring.

i'm just really hoping SAM takes me. and not for admin or anything, but to help with their collections or something! otherwise it would be quite a useless thing. i know i said i wanted a break, but if this opportunity comes along i will not let it pass me by. maybe i should concentrate on the cupcake business but i somehow feel i need a little job on the side at the very least to help me stay grounded. does that sound weird? basically, i NEED routine, much as i hate to admit it.

is it selfish of me not to want to volunteer at any help centre right now? i have the morbid idea i'll get posted to selling things on the street which i HATE and also, i really can't see myself wanting to relief teach and mark homework and prepare lessons and deal with irksome students and ... gosh, maybe now i understand why my teachers were so closed off to us now.

and also, a random note. Sufjan Stevens!

+ posted by M @ 1:08 AM