i wish i remembered how it felt like falling in love with you. i don't think i remember that exact moment in which it happened and it feels like it was gradual but there are always exact moments where one falls in love (it's not a choice). i'd like to think our love was never ordinary, until i remember that love may be a lot of things but ordinary is never one of them.

*

so QP ends tomorrow and i will finally have a life (at least a semblance of it). despite my harsh critique of the script and the general unhappiness and uneasiness i've felt during the course of production at certain points, i have to say i don't dislike any of the people that i worked with. much as i got annoyed sometimes, i do like N the director, because i feel like i can relate to her. though she might have said unfair things about me and acted rather two-faced at times, i can't hate her because i feel for her inexplicably. i think she is an interesting person and i think she is talented but QP didn't show off enough of that because it was too self-indulgent and personal. there's so much more that she has and i know she has IT but it just isn't coming through with QP for me. so i don't hate her or anything, even though it might have sounded like it in the previous entry. i just don't think i'll be working with them again because they're rather disorganized and ... yeah.

the substation has been emailing me and i feel tempted to say 'yes' but i'm going to stick to my guns and i'm not going to because i need my own time. i really do.

+ posted by M @ 1:12 AM