don't want to go for rehearsal, don't want to do work, don't want to take finals.

just want to curl up in bed for the rest of the year. we don't even need to eat or sleep.

+ posted by M @ 7:56 AM

...	Friday, November 24, 2006

from walt whitman's song of myself

There is that in me - I do not know what it is - but I know
it is in me.

Wrench'd and sweaty - calm and cool then my body becomes,
I sleep - I sleep long.

I do not know it - it is without name - it is a word unsaid,
It is not in any dictionary, utterance, symbol.

Something it swings on more than the earth I swing on,
To it the creation is the friend whose embracing awakes me.

+ posted by M @ 5:11 AM

...	Wednesday, November 22, 2006

i wish i had more pictures.

+ posted by M @ 3:06 AM

...	Tuesday, November 21, 2006

babies are so soft and fresh and new.

i never thought i'd find myself saying this, but i want to have a baby. gee.

okay maybe not. i just like looking at them, which i never used to like.

+ posted by M @ 11:38 PM

...

i went to watch Hotel Cassiopeia at UofC's Court Theatre for a drama class assignment. i really really liked it and i think carol you would have liked it too. yes, i actually liked a play! it's a play inspired by Joseph Cornell, the american artist, whom i am currently quite intrigued by also. it reminded me of when i was back home and i went for shows very easily every other week at the esplanade or national library or substation. i miss that. this was the first play i had gone to in a very very long time (since i left, other than hamlet downtown which i fell asleep at and wasn't all that great).

anyway, as i was coming out of the theatre, i heard a very singaporean voice say, 'this play too abstract lah, i don't like it'. oooh, doesn't this just warm the cockles of your heart. the familiar singaporean ignorance to be found everywhere, even when i'm not at home!

+ posted by M @ 12:24 AM

...	Monday, November 20, 2006

my roommate and i are having some sort of unspoken war. she blasts her russian or ghetto music and then i blast my emorock music back. and we are in very close proximity to each other.

it's quite like carol's situation with her old housemate. the flat gets so dirty and both are so reluctant to clean up until one person always finally cleans up. and that person is always me because as messy as i am and laissez faire i am about hygiene most of the time, i'm not as filthy as she is. it has come to the point where i hide my water and toilet paper because i have ALWAYS bought the toilet roll when we ran out. i'm hoping to force her into a corner where she finally realizes we should be taking turns to buy toilet paper. let's see how long she can cope without toilet paper.

i wish i had turkey, peas and mash for thanksgiving. sigh.

oh it is incredibly painful to live with another person and i think i am most definitely getting a single my freshman year.

+ posted by M @ 10:35 AM

...	Saturday, November 18, 2006

it's the simple things i miss the most. watching you fall asleep, hearing you murmur in your sleep when i wake you up, sharing secrets over supper at adam road, lots of milk tea and kaya toast, holding hands.


so much seems to have changed in the short time i was gone. ms heng has retired, the meepok man has passed away, vivocity has opened with yet more new shops and new brands. new movies are out in the cinema every week, new shows at the theatre, new bands coming to town, new seasons of clothes - and i'm unaware of it all (i haven't been off campus much at all and really am quite unaware of the outside world - did not know about james bond).

it's just a month more and i'll be back. soft sheets, love, orange soap, death cab for cutie.

amy jo johnson? is that the pink power ranger!?!

+ posted by M @ 4:14 AM

...	Tuesday, November 14, 2006

your love is better than chocolate

+ posted by M @ 7:41 AM

...	Monday, November 13, 2006

it is very unpleasant to get woken up at 4am by talk of 'i need dick' and 'so and so's dick is x inches long' due to roommate and texan floormate having a conversation (i am not joking you, in fact their conversations are far racier than i let on here). i have never felt any desire in my life to feel that part of male anatomy much less have it in my mouth or have it in me. nor do i understand the idea of size and length and how it matters, or even how it is visually pleasant to see. perhaps this means i'm gayer than i ever realized. who knows, but seriously, this dick talk has really GOT TO STOP because it makes me feel like throwing up and it makes ME feel dirty just listening to it.

how am i going to room with her for two more quarters!?

+ posted by M @ 2:37 AM

...	Saturday, November 11, 2006

since i'm free from SOSC now i've got A LOT less work. all i have to do this weekend is catch up on my math, finish reading Sula and read up a little bit on Joseph Cornell. possibly going to explore wicker park tomorrow afternoon, the bohemian central of chicago (provided it doesn't snow, sigh). pretty psyched to go thrifting and maybe smoke a bit of weed (JOKING).

+ posted by M @ 9:30 AM

...

things are looking up. less work and almost the holidays! which means going home and having chicken rice and laksa!

and seeing aly! and everyone else. oh joy. going to party a little this weekend and unwind some.

+ posted by M @ 5:14 AM

...	Thursday, November 09, 2006

i really miss my friends back home. bea called last night and it felt so great to talk to her. i felt loved. deep deep love. i miss it, a lot. i guess we were all very loving towards each other, always comforting each other and telling each other they were special. i've become so used to that environment ... with bea, gayle, mandy, chalene, carol, celene, dawn, angie, charm ... everyone. you just feel like you're invincible and anything is possible. like for example carol will just say, 'mel, let's make a film!'

no one here has said that to me so far.

like WE ARE YOUNG, shoulder to shoulder we stand, no promises no demands, love is a battlefield!

it's not like i don't hang out with anyone here - but there just isn't that same support system. i hope i can find one here eventually. it's one thing to cry to aly about it over the phone, it would be a completely different thing if i had someone here to hug me and hold my hand. i need a group of girlfriends. because girlfriends are the most special-est friends you will ever have. SIGH. wish you all were here. we would have so much fun shopping in the city. mandy you must get your 4.0 GPA and come here on business exchange.

+ posted by M @ 3:06 PM

...	Tuesday, November 07, 2006

+ posted by M @ 6:11 AM

...	Sunday, November 05, 2006

friends, some photos of puerto rican friend roberto. feeling slightly better now, less homesick.

+ posted by M @ 4:31 PM

...	Saturday, November 04, 2006

feeling slightly better after cleaning up my room and message from dars and phonecall from mom and talking a little to brother and of course, hearing from aly. just slightly better. i've got a whole lot of stuff to do this weekend to get my life (well academic life) in order so i better get cracking. also i keep saying i'm going to diet but i never actually do. sigh, freshman 239809823409823423498928724 UGH

+ posted by M @ 11:18 AM

...	Friday, November 03, 2006

dear friends i am stressed.

i don't think i can make it to the dean's list this quarter. i have so much work and i am sick again and i am dying. i just want to get a 3.0 gpa. help, help, help.

+ posted by M @ 7:18 AM

...	Thursday, November 02, 2006

today in math class i observed the girl with the eyebrow piercing reading through a love letter she wrote for someone in yale.

it struck me how we're always so alone even when we're in a room with twenty other people - little pieces of us are always somewhere else other than where we are. we are never complete.



on a less contemplative note, someone PLEASE teach me how to remove my broken tagboard and replace it, ALY? a little help for your girlfriend here?

+ posted by M @ 4:35 AM