i really need to stop skipping class and start handing in things on time, and start being normal.

repeat to self X 234098098209 everyday, inside head.

+ posted by M @ 6:21 AM

...	Friday, April 20, 2007

in spate of the recent payrise, i think it's just MM Lee's way of seeing his family is set for good before he dies (and the time is a-coming, i mean, the man looks like a corpse). kind of like his will, you know? instead as MM he's got all the taxpayer's money as his disposal, so why not put it into his family. his statement about our women becoming maids is a clear sign of his senility/dementia.

with regards to keeping it competitive so that he can attract people from private sectors to the goverment - it's just an agenda for control, once again. people from the private sector must want to serve out of a sense of duty to their country, rather than be motivated by money. there have been so many cases in which strongly anti-establishment individuals have been somewhat silenced by money and positions of power in the government. i won't name names, but a certain T Koh comes to mind ...

that's a lot of good money that could be going to the arts, arts, arts. or into creating a better minimum wage. i mean, people are working for $3.50 an hour in starbucks while PM Lee is getting more money than he can even handle ... and to show just how much he doesn't need it, he donates it. and what's SM Goh's stand in the midst of this? oh i'm sorry, he isn't a lee, so he doesn't really count, even though our previous SM had all the say.

is cannot, lah.

+ posted by M @ 6:35 PM

...

bunny bunny bunny bunny bunnyyyy!!! so lovey and cuddly and squishy. why go to war when we can all have little bunny friends of our own.

+ posted by M @ 2:21 PM

...

america : the land of moral decay?

the VA Tech shootings come as a chilling reminder of where i've currently chosen to reside. reading his manifesto, he claims 'i died like Jesus Christ' so that others like him have been taken care of. which is of course an extremely poor analogy considering he didn't die for the sins of anyone and took down 32 others with him. the killings simply reek of desperation and lunacy. while i in no way endorse his actions, i don't think american society is reacting as well as they should be. of course there is much anger and hurt on the part of the victims' families but i think much needed reflection is due. america has to ask themselves why things like these keep happening to them - 9/11, various school shootings (as well as shootings on the street), paedophilia, incredibly twisted serial killers ... these things don't happen without reason. in all these cases of school shootings i can't help but classify the killer as a victim too - i do believe that there comes a point you are pushed so far beyond the edge that you are completely unable to control yourself. who knows whether Cho is going to hell or not?because in reading his manifesto i felt like he had lost his soul. it is incredibly difficult to have sympathy for him though, but it is important to realize that there are many out there who might have been bullied and abused who will not take the same violent path, and that doesn't mean that they should not be given any attention.

the country tends to react with an agression which is steeped in vengeance and ignorance. when 9/11 first came about, many americans were becoming violent and racist towards other muslims and people of color. is that really the way to go, if you want to prevent any of these things? don't forget that it clearly doesn't take power or wealth to kill - a poor pakistani cab driver you've just verbally abused can just as easily kill others as the tanks sent into Iraq, though not of the same magnitude. because some people have been so pushed over the edge they feel they don't have anything to lose, and those people make the scariest killers since they can shoot without abandon and just kill themselves after.

the whole gun issue is a double edged sword. students from VA tech have claimed that had they been allowed guns on campus they would have felt safer. other people think if guns weren't sold in the first place, a lot of shootings could have been prevented. i think it obviously goes much deeper than the technicalities of allowing guns or not. if someone wants to kill 32 people, he WILL find a way to do so, guns legally accessible or not. they argue that only 'lunatics' are the ones breaking gun-laws, thus causing law-abiding citizens to be unsafe without their arms. i've seen extreme posters created by feminists claiming that every woman should own a gun. while the posters are extremely compelling i find (with pictures of abused women contrasted to pictures of amazonian, independent women defending themselves from rapists), i don't know if i can agree completely. my mom says, when it comes to the crunch, will you really be able to pull the trigger? i know i definitely won't be capable of killing someone, but i know if i'm about to get shot/raped, i will shoot the man's leg or something (even though this still might not prevent someone from getting shot, which is a very scary thought). i personally find these ideas a great moral indicator - it is utterly depressing and ugly to me that one feels the need to possess firearms in order to feel adequately safe in America. those feminist posters are simply a reaction to the greater picture of domestic violence and rape that's happening these days. and honestly, i think it's irreversible. America has gone so far down the path of self-destruction and decay that i don't know how they're ever going to find their way back. every country has their faults (in Singapore it's political apathy and government opression), but i think America really isn't the place to grow up in. events like these make me realize that i don't want my children growing up here, i should probably give them the childhood i had in Singapore.

but really, with the way the world is deteriorating these days ... who knows.

i think God's sending you a sign America, and i think you should listen. don't let all those victims' deaths be in vain, it isn't enough to just light candles and hold vigils ... to quote Gandhi, you have to be the change you wish for in the world.

+ posted by M @ 1:04 PM

...	Thursday, April 19, 2007

live, that's all you can do.

something i read off a friend's facebook profile, as trivial as it seems. but i guess she really is living right now, taken a quarter off to go to portland to live with her girlfriend (who also took a quarter off) and now they're in an apartment just doing jobs and getting by - but most importantly just being. portland isn't terribly exciting, but i can understand how the idea of making a life together somewhere new can be exciting. it's the sort of thing you talk about but never do, and she did it. how i would love to do that, just take quarters off and work and it doesn't really matter if i'm just waitressing, but to share an apartment with you and basically just live with one another. share a space - i've become obsessed with interior decor, possibly because of prospects of new apartment come next year. will be painting walls, putting up pictures, candles, lights and of course very sentimental cutlery. the kitchen is the most important part of the house! non-stick pans, kitchenaids, fine knives, muffin tins, cookie trays, mixing bowls and measuring cups - a beautiful kitchen we will have. not necessarily matching, just kind of a jumble of unique little plates and bowls that each mean something. and getting a bunny hopefully.

everything feels so, 'on the verge' right now. i thought i was over that for at least four years, but i guess in life we're constantly on the edge. except i think hyde park has dulled my edge. i've fallen into a routine i dislike. cooking huge pots of curry after school and eating them for the next few days. sitting in my room missing you and doing nothing at all.

i want adventure, like belle sings in her field of dancing dandelions. i've flown 100,000 miles and still no adventure? i haven't looked hard enough, maybe. i want to poke around the underbelly of chicago, find out its deepest secrets. i want to cultivate an actual relationship with this place (i won't even call it a city, because where i am, it's the darned suburbs) rather than just bus through it blindly.

oh, life would be so much better with a little rabbit being in my life. bunny, bunny, i'll go a-bunny hunting.

+ posted by M @ 4:57 PM

...	Tuesday, April 10, 2007

i'm kind of tired with theater.

yes, i've started spelling it theater and not theatre. unbelievable.

+ posted by M @ 2:33 PM

...	Thursday, April 05, 2007

i am okay. i am sorry if i worried anyone with the Angsty Lyrics Posts. i was simply too tired to write about what happened and my similarly angsty feelings so i used rachael to help me out.

whatever it was, i'm fine now.

+ posted by M @ 5:09 PM

...	Tuesday, April 03, 2007

I think about how it might have been
We'd spend out days travelin'
It's not that I don't understand you
It's not that I don't want to be with you
But you only wanted me
The way you wanted me

So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
And we hang our heads down
As we skip the goodbyes
And you can tell the world what you want them to hear
I've got nothing left to lose, my dear
So, I'm up for the little white lies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there

I'll buy a magazine searching for your face
From coast to coast, or where ever I find my place
I'll track you on the radio, and
I'll find your list in a different name
But as close as I get to you
It's not the same

So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
As say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, you're still there
I'm gone, you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there

So, steal the show, and do your best
To cover the tracks that I have left
I wish you well and hope you find
Whatever you're looking for
The way I might've changed my mind,
But you only showed me the door

So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
And say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I, you and I, you and I know the reason why.

+ posted by M @ 8:56 PM