live, that's all you can do.

something i read off a friend's facebook profile, as trivial as it seems. but i guess she really is living right now, taken a quarter off to go to portland to live with her girlfriend (who also took a quarter off) and now they're in an apartment just doing jobs and getting by - but most importantly just being. portland isn't terribly exciting, but i can understand how the idea of making a life together somewhere new can be exciting. it's the sort of thing you talk about but never do, and she did it. how i would love to do that, just take quarters off and work and it doesn't really matter if i'm just waitressing, but to share an apartment with you and basically just live with one another. share a space - i've become obsessed with interior decor, possibly because of prospects of new apartment come next year. will be painting walls, putting up pictures, candles, lights and of course very sentimental cutlery. the kitchen is the most important part of the house! non-stick pans, kitchenaids, fine knives, muffin tins, cookie trays, mixing bowls and measuring cups - a beautiful kitchen we will have. not necessarily matching, just kind of a jumble of unique little plates and bowls that each mean something. and getting a bunny hopefully.

everything feels so, 'on the verge' right now. i thought i was over that for at least four years, but i guess in life we're constantly on the edge. except i think hyde park has dulled my edge. i've fallen into a routine i dislike. cooking huge pots of curry after school and eating them for the next few days. sitting in my room missing you and doing nothing at all.

i want adventure, like belle sings in her field of dancing dandelions. i've flown 100,000 miles and still no adventure? i haven't looked hard enough, maybe. i want to poke around the underbelly of chicago, find out its deepest secrets. i want to cultivate an actual relationship with this place (i won't even call it a city, because where i am, it's the darned suburbs) rather than just bus through it blindly.

oh, life would be so much better with a little rabbit being in my life. bunny, bunny, i'll go a-bunny hunting.

+ posted by M @ 4:57 PM