because edna goh says i don't update my blog. so i have updated my blog, and i love yakun kaya toast and teh and she ate that whole stack by herself i say.

+ posted by M @ 11:23 PM

...	Sunday, August 20, 2006

YOU by carol ann duffy

Uninvited, the thought of you stayed too late in my head.
so I went to bed, dreaming you hard, hard, woke with your name,
like tears, soft, salt, on my lips, the sound of its bright syllables
like a charm, like a spell.

Falling in love
is glamorous hell: the crouched, parched heart
like a tiger, ready to kill; a flame’s fierce licks under the skin.
into my life, larger than life, you strolled in.

I hid in my ordinary days, in the long grass of routine,
in my camouflage rooms. You sprawled in my gaze,
staring back from anyone’s face, from the shape of a cloud,
from the pining, earth-struck moon which gapes at me

as I open the bedroom door. The curtains stir. There you are
on the bed, like a gift, like a touchable dream.

+ posted by M @ 9:01 PM

...

i've been having vivid dreams every single night, or rather, every single time i close my eyes to sleep (which is more than once at night).

it's come to a point where i'm not sure what has happened and what hasn't. it's a little unnerving.

+ posted by M @ 1:15 PM

...	Friday, August 18, 2006

fun times at suntec. hello, asha.

+ posted by M @ 11:12 AM

...	Tuesday, August 15, 2006

quotable quotes

from spam, 'GREAT XXX, don't be without the best'. oh come now, what is XXX? don't be a tease.

from ed, 'Friday watched super ex girlfriend ... it was low budget , stupid and not funny.. don't know why asha can laugh th whole show yah and i can't remember the rest of the days'

from chalene, 'TRUFFLE it's time for U O C, not A L Y'

from me, from you, from me to you and here i am typing things i don't understand because i've gotten into the habit of sleeping at 5 and waking up at 2 like the sun is new to me and having dinner at any time i feel and things are different, things are new, things are the same but everything will be okay in the way Joel and Clementine say 'Okay' and soon i'll be somewhere else and you will still be here.

and of course the wise Lisa Loeb sings,

'Everybody go
The party's over
I want to be alone in my head
In my bed tonight
You never show

You must really love her
You think I don't know
But I do, yeah it's true
I think over is over

I'm right back where I started
(when it comes to wanting you)
I can't have what I wanted

But I did, I can
I was, I am
Only human, living, dying
Just like any fool who ever breathed
If love is blind
If love's a drug
It always is
It always was and
Love was surely made for fools like me

I know where I'm going
I'm tripping I'm sliding around
That's ok
At least I'm excited
It wasn't how I planned it
(wasn't how I planned it
Feet are where I landed
At least I understand it now)
My feet are where I landed
(feet are staying on the ground)

Maybe it's the sanest thing
Or just the sweetest kind of dream
But love was surely made for fools
Love was surely made for fools like me'

+ posted by M @ 4:34 AM

...	Wednesday, August 09, 2006

for the benefit of those overseas, or those i haven't seen for months (years) because of conflicting schedules, NS, whatever ... i did dye my hair blue, so this is what i look like now.



and that is my friend (and ex-boss) alysia whose hair i helped dye blue but it isn't very visible unless under sunlight because she was impatient and would not wait for the bleach to turn it completely blonde.

also, i find that i really took my hair for granted. i've made a habit out of never brushing my hair and getting it managed fairly quickly in a french braid - now that it's bleached and hence, severely damaged, it's not as easy to look after. i can't not comb my hair anymore. what a milestone.

+ posted by M @ 7:18 PM

...	Tuesday, August 08, 2006

lately i've been reminded of the person i used to be, apparently. i went to watch homesick with carol on saturday and she told me, 'you're very hard to please, mel. name the plays that you've actually liked this year.' and i couldn't really come up with any except, 'language' and of course, 'hello'.

i said i didn't enjoy political plays anymore and would prefer something beautiful. and then she said it was funny i said that because she remembered me to be such an angry person in SCGS. now that i think about it, the SCGS me would probably have loved every single fiery explosive opinion that Homesick practically threw at us like forbidden fireworks. the older me was always rambling on about the crap education system, the things i hated about the government and so on and so forth. i seem to have mellowed within this 9-month break - i attribute it to the fact that i'm finally out of the system. but then i think about eleanor wong and what she said (or was it alfian and am i remembering wrong because i could not help but think eleanor said everything wise) about us all contributing to the system. and i cannot let my apathy turn into permissiveness. the stayer and quitter argument has been done to death, but i think now for me it takes on a different meaning. i'm a quitter because i'd rather run away and be happy and abandon all the things i'd once felt so strongly about.

but i wonder, is it worth it? is it worth it to try and change the system? isn't it enough just to be individually happy? and i suppose that is how they keep us stuffed up and quiet, through our happiness ... but as long as i am truly happy, what does it matter what the system thinks is a battle won? have i really lost all my views?

how much does happiness matter in the whole scheme of things? i really do not know now. but what i know is that it's Love, above everything else. and that is the one thing i can say i'm absolutely sure of but have seem to lost within myself lately. Love, it is more than art, more than happiness, more than the world.

+ posted by M @ 1:22 PM

...	Friday, August 04, 2006

today in the cab the driver said,

'i think this is the second time you've taken my taxi. the last time you were in school uniform, a couple of years back.'

this either means

a) i'm very memorable (a couple of years back?!) for whatever reason
b) my house is very memorable
c) i've taken way too many taxis. i mean i know singapore is small and running into people is inevitable, but taking the same taxi twice? my head hurts to think about the probability equation.

as such i've decided i really need to stop spending my life savings on cab fare - i've become more aware of the amount i spend on Comfort since i had to tab all my receipts for Sprouts. but then, i've only got a month left here and i really do like the taxis. i also like the mrt, buses not so much.

+ posted by M @ 1:55 PM